feels like we only go backwards

More bad news:

-  Over 200 Nigerian school girls were kidnapped three weeks ago by the militant Islamist group Boko Haram.  Boko Haram?  That sounds like the name of a restaurant or a Star Wars character. 

-  The Ukraine eastern region continues to fall closer and closer to civil war.  Nice job, Putin.

-  The back staircase of my house has dry rot.  Yup, same staircase repaired ten years ago.

-  The Cowboys were eliminated from Amazing Race last Sunday, after being u-turned by the Afghanimals.  Damn you, Afghanimals!

-  My cholesterol is back up to 230.  Am I condemned to a life of tasteless oatmeals?

This is seriously pissing me off.  Life, you best back off now, or else I am gonna fight back.


 

bad day, redux

Alright, seriously this has to stop.  I had a painting contractor appointment this week.  When I greeted him outside, he asked me, "Are you having problems with your neighbor?"  I was like, "No, why?"  Apparently before I came downstairs, he was looking at the front of my house and walked up my neighbor's driveway to get a better look at the side of my place.  My neighbor then yelled at him, saying he has no permission to walk on the driveway.  I was surprised at that, since 1) people walk up the driveway of houses all the time - mailman, people delivering flyers, Jehovah's Witnesses - what's the big freaking deal?  2) there's never been any issue with the neighbor in the past.  After the appointment, I went and knocked on my neighbor's door to try to smooth things over and apologize, even if there was really nothing to apologize for.  But then he just came charging out of his door, and without even greeting me, launched into a tirade.  He said the last time we painted, the painter got paint all over his wall and his car, and he had to spend over $100 to get his car rebuffed.  He pointed to a house up the block that is being painted and said, "You see the netting that they have around the house - that's how you should paint."  Then he said he now has solar panels on the roof, and if we damage that, it's at least $20,000 a panel.  I was completely dumbfounded.  The last time we painted was a decade ago, and he did not say anything about paint getting on his house or car back then.  In fact, I recall he commented on how that painter was doing a better job scraping loose paint than the previous painter we used, which was when we first moved in.  It doesn't make sense that he would have commented on scraping but not have said anything about his wall or car.  And he was so angry about the whole thing, like he wanted to fight or something.  And was that a veiled threat about the solar panels?  He was being a class-A jerk.  He could have nicely asked me to be extra careful because of the solar panels without bring things up a decade ago which may or may not have happened.  And there definitely was no need to take anything out on the poor painter who just came to give me an estimate.  Obviously this all stewed with me and messed up my last two days.

See - when you have a bad day and pass that on to other people, you make other people have a bad day, and that just gets passed on and on.  Before you know it, you have a Kim Jong Un or a Hitler or a Columbine.  People, please don't do that.  Make a world a better place instead of a worse one.  Spread kindness and not hate or anger.  

Oh something else that happened - I had a dental cleaning appointment yesterday.  When they took some x-rays, they didn't put the lead apron on me til half way through.  I didn't even notice that I didn't have the apron on til the lady grabbed it and put it on me after she took four x-rays already.  I was thinking, "Uh..."  I didn't say anything cuz I wasn't sure if that was the procedure - maybe the earlier x-rays didn't need the apron?  I came home and then texted a friend who also goes to the same dentist and was told that they normally put on the apron for all the x-rays.  So yeah, I am so screwed.  I am going to die of radiation now.  Maybe if that's the case, I should just forget about painting the house and let everything fall to pieces.  Take that, angry, bitter neighbor!      

the sewol

I haven't said anything about the South Korean ferry tragedy.  On April 16, a ferry traveling from Incheon to Jeju, capsized.  There were 425 people on board the Sewol, 325 of which were students on a field trip from Danwon High School in Asnan (a city south of Seoul).  To date, there are 236 confirmed dead and 66 still missing.  That's a lot of young lives cut short, dreams and hopes extinguished, and families destroyed.  A six year old girl was rescued but her entire family was gone.  A vice principle of Danwon did survive but committed suicide after because he felt responsible for the deaths of all the students who were under his watch.  The captain and his crew, who all got off the ferry, have been arrested for abandonment.  Videos recorded by some students during the capsizing are now being released, and it's making the tragedy all the more heartbreaking.    Between this and the Malaysian MH370, sometimes you just want to keep yourself and all your loved ones locked up at home.  My sympathy goes out to all the lives affected.     

a chance is all you need

The past couple of weeks have been terrible.  My Honda's brake pedal went soft on me.  It turned out to be some master cylinder problem that cost me $200.  My refrigerator went dead on me Friday.  Repair guy is not coming til Monday.  I googled and think it's a fuse problem and likely repair will be to replace the entire control board.  I ran into trouble trying to return a couple of unopened, unworn HeatTech tees to Uniqlo (they are supposedly non-returnable "inner wear" items) and stood there for five minutes arguing with the sales clerk til she gave in.  My iPhone battery is acting really wonkers.  I got into a thing with one of my coworkers, who's been annoying the hell out of me with her overbearing inquisition.  I have a work project that is huge and complicated and problematic and is making my stomach queasy.  I have another presentation to do this coming Thursday, and that is making my stomacch even queasier.  My boss is asking me to train a new employee who is coming on board in a few weeks, but I think it's a waste of time because his resume clearly shows he is not a good fit for our group.  I asked her why we are picking this person up, and she gave me this look and said, "We have no choice, so let's leave it at that."  I have been waiting for over two months for my insurance to authorize a new type of orthotics for me.  And I have been waiting for my order of new glasses to arrive for more than two weeks, and yesterday afternoon, my doc called and said they arrived but there was some quality control issues so they had to send them back for a re-do.  I know these aren't necessarily world-class tragedies, but when you add them all up, they just make your life feel out of sorts.  I really just haven't been in sync lately.  I really think the moons must be misaligned or something.  Can I get out of this cycle already?

But I need to be optimistic.  The good thing is, every day you wake up, you get a chance to make things better, or new good things can happen. Sure, it's not likely going to be the case, cuz you don't just wake up a new person in the morning.  But still, it's a chance, and a chance is all you need.  Just like the lottery.

So how about some American Authors:

conscious uncouple

Random thoughts this Sunday:  I know I am not supposed to cheer on a divorce, but I cannot help but think I might get my old Coldplay back now that Chris Martin has consciously uncoupled from that pretentious, haughtier-than-thou Gwyneth Paltrow.  I want back that old English chap who writes lovelorn, starry-eyed songs about shivering, troubles, spies, and the color yellow.  While he's at it, I hope he would now stop hanging with Beyonce and Jay-Z and let Gwyneth inherit them as her friends.  I seriously hate it whenever scrappy, upstart British artists get contaminated by fancy American celebrities.  Yes, I am also talking about Ed Sheeran becoming besties with Taylor Swift and now working with Pharrell...Amazing Race All Star season is really awesome, probably the best in a long time.  I am rooting hard for Cowboys and Dave/Connor father-son team.  And I surprisingly enjoy Brendon and Rachel this season - her dramatics is actually more endearing and amusing than annoying.  I still find the Afghanimals extremely unbearable, and the blonde country singers vacant and boring...I have an aunt who has been in a nursing home since she had a fall in her home in December.  That place is hell of depressing.  She does nothing all day long except sit or lie in bed.  I tell you, getting old sucks.  Add this to my growing list of things I fear - rotting away in a nursing home when I get old...I did well in the month of March controlling my spending.  I only spent about $11 on clothes (on a couple of Old Navy's sweatshirts) and didn't buy any blu rays or cds at all.  I hardly ate out, except for workday lunches...Yesterday I sprayed weed killers in the backyard, pruned a couple of trees, trashed a pile of old magazines, made scones, and pickled some vegetables that would otherwise go bad.  I am so domesticated...The Desolation of Smaug blu ray came out on Tuesday.  I didn't even buy An Unexpected Journey because I was waiting for all three Hobbit movies to come out together in an extended edition set.  But Target has a limited edition of Smaug where they are including a collector's Legolas Lego toy.  I want that so bad.  What to do?...Madonna is in the studio with Natalie Kills.  And she was working with Avicii a few weeks back.  From what I've heard from Natalie Kills and Avicii, I haven't been impressed.  So here's hoping working with Madonna brings out the best they've got.  I seriously don't want another Hard Candy.  I do like the sound of "Rebel Heart," a hashtag she's been hyping on instagram and is likely the name of the upcoming album...I submitted something to Buzzfeed for Madonna's #artforfreedom initiative.  She is supposedly doing a live curating in a few days.  Do you think she will see my work?...I've had a headache all week long.  The tension is behind my right eye and at the back right side of my neck.  I need to get healthy.  I am always feeling tired.  My number one goal for this next week - stop falling asleep right after dinner and then waking up at 2am with all the lights and tv on...I've changed my mind about Harry Connick Jr on American Idol - I now cannot stand him.  He was so funny during the auditions, but now with the live shows, he is actually annoying and way too self-indulgent.  It's the exact same thing that happened with Nicki Minaj.  I liked her initially too but that went downhill really fast...I am happy that Captain America The Winter Soldier is getting rave reviews.  He is worth rooting for...David Letterman is retiring next year.  I saw him when I was in NYC.  They made the audience practice laughing.  So lame...I heard that Kim Jong Un is going to make every N Korean male get the same haircut as his.  Actually I kind of get it.  Korean actors have the ugliest girly haircuts.  If I were a dictator, I would make them stop too.  But then I wouldn't make them have my haircut.  I would maybe pick like Ryan Gosling or someone like that...Can someone please stop (repressed homosexual) Putin from invading western Ukraine?  Is he trying to get back the entire Soviet Union?  Wasn't winning Olympic figure skating gold enough?  Maybe if they had won hockey gold, we wouldn't be here...The news was full of other craziness this past week - there was a car that crashed into a daycare center in Florida, there was a teenager who went on a stabbing rampage in a Pennsylvania, and then there was a FedEx truck that lost control on Highway Five up in Orland, CA, and crashed into a tour bus full of high school students.  If anything, the nightly news is a daily reminder of the unpredictability of life.  Every victim of these incidents did not wake up that day thinking something would happen to them.  Therefore, we should all go to bed every night being grateful that we and our family made it safely through another day...In fact, with that in mind, I shall try to let go of all the work craziness and drama going on right now.  People get too drunk on power, even if it's power over very little.  It's not like we are fighting for Middle Earth or something.  Regardless, a change is gonna come, but I shall ride it out with the zen of a surfer on a gnarly wave.  It's all good, even when it's not...Chi Young got a fellowship award for his first semester at NUIG.  Good on him.  He is gnarly and awesome...The drawing above is an illustration I did for Yvonne and Ricky's church.  They have a summer bible camp, and the theme is the Prodigal Son.  Ricky asked me as a favor to do a thing for the pamphlet.  Trust me - good or bad, that drawing did not come easy.  Let's just say churches are very particular when it comes to drawings on zeroxed pamphlets that will be handed out to tens of people, even when they are getting it free from an amateur artist who was doing this after a long tired day at work..Alrighty, I gotta go make some mini cheesecakes for a work function Tuesday.  So I shall consciously uncouple from writing this post and say my goodbye.  Have a good week, my fair reader(s).

unsolved mysteries

I am scared of flying.  More so with each flight.  And yes, I know the more I acknowledge this, the more it becomes a self-fulfilling thing.  Fear feeds on fear.  It's really just one big mindfuck.

So I really don't want to think too much about Malaysian Fight MH370.  Yet I cannot help but be fascinated by the mystery.  I know it's a tragedy first and a mystery second.  But what a mystery it is.  How does a big passenger jet with 200+ people on board just disappear without a trace?  And how and why would it stray from its course across the South China Sea from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing and end up somewhere in the South Indian Ocean, southwest of Perth, as it is now suspected?  Was it just coincidence that two of the passengers - Iranians - were traveling with fake passports?  Is it a common occurrence to have people with fake passports on flights?  Is it a mechanical/electrical failure?  A hijacking?  A suicide mission by the pilot/co-pilot?  And then there is the race against time to find the wreckage and the black box, the battery of which is supposed to only last a few more days now.  Yup, throw in the smoke monster and you have a tv show.

I am also scared of haunted hotels.  Everytime I stay in a hotel, especially if I am on my own, I kind of get creeped out.  I never, never turn off the lights or the tv.  I always imagine all the violent murders that might have taken place and all the ghosts roaming around looking for whatever ghosts look for.  Would I find a corpse under the mattress, or hear mysterious whispering in the hallway, or get pulled under the water in the tub?  So today, when I heard of the case of Elisa Lam and the Cecil Hotel, I had chills run all over my body.  Apparently the Cecil Hotel, in downtown L.A., near Skid Row, is rather notorious.  Before the Elisa Lam case in 2013, the hotel already had its share of violence and murderers.  It was home to the Night Stalker Richard Ramirez (who still freaks me out because he was a serial killer who had committed murders in the neighborhood where I went to school back in the day) and Jack Unterweger, another infamous serial killer.  The hotel was also the site of a number of suicides and the unsolved rape/murder in the 1960's of a woman named as "Pigeon Goldie" Osgood, who was known as the protector of pigeons in the neighborhood.  Elisa Lam, a Chinese Canadian who was traveling alone, somehow ended up staying at the Cecil Hotel in January 2013.  She disappeared, and her corpse was found a couple of weeks later in one of the water tanks on the roof, after hotel guests complained of low water pressure.  Can you even imagine having consumed water from the tank where her corpse was immersed for two weeks?  What makes the Elisa Lam case that much more creepy is released surveillance video showing her acting rather strangely in the elevator right before her disappearance.  She was either on drugs or was possessed.  She went into the elevator, pushed multiple buttons, and proceeded to act like she was hiding from someone.  She then peeked out of the elevator and at a certain point made really creepy gestures with her hands.  All I have to say is, I wouldn't watch this video alone at night.  You want to know how scared I am?  I am too scared to even link the video here.  The case was officially ruled accidental drowning, but who are we kidding?

Anyways, these days, everytime I get a news alert on my iPhone, I hope to see some breakthrough on the MH370 case, that they've found the wreckage.  Any real lead or progress, for the sake of the families for which this must be pure torture, and for us conspiracy theorists.  Until then, I will sleep a little less easy thinking that there are these unsolved mysteries out there, hanging about like...a long haired Japanese girl, in a white dress, cowering in the corner of the elevator.

team piz

Yup, count me in for Team Piz!  I know, everyone is supposed to be on the side of LoVe (Logan + Veronica), but not me.  I think Piz is totally the right choice for Veronica - he's a totally awesome guy.  He jumps in to help Logan in a brawl.  He loves Veronica.  He is understanding.  He gets along with her friends.  He dances like a madman.  He has a nice career.  He is good looking.  And the bit where, when Veronica fails to show up to meet his parents, he says, "I have to go let my mother off the hook. She’s very concerned that her blow-out is going to flatten before you get here."  Come on!

So that's about the only gripe I have - a girl that smart should have made the right choice and not go for the brooding bad boy who is always so full of drama. Otherwise, it's so nice to be back in Neptune to revisit with Veronica and the gang.  Everything is so warm and familiar.  And I still smile at all her smart ass quips.  Kristin Bell is born to play this character.  I hope she gets to do it again.  But not without Piz.  A-