suede, mark, and clay are out

Mark is sorry that he hasn't posted in almost two weeks, which is probably the longest he has been absent other than when he is on holiday in a foreign country where he can't get ready access to the internet. Mark has been both busy and out of it lately. The busy part comes in that there are a lot, and he means a lot, of tv shows on his Tivo waiting to be watched. He didn't however get to watch Survivor Gabon yesterday because his Tivo machine was too full and ran out of space. He did watch Dancing With The Stars premiere this week, which was on for three damn nites. He also watched Project Runway and watched Suede get kissed goodbye. He didn't deserve to go for this challenge, cuz Kenley's was way worse. Kenley is such a whackjob, but she is pretty, so that helps. If you have to be a whackjob, you should at least be pretty. Let that be Mark's lesson to you all - if you are plain looking or worse yet ugly, you really should try to acquire a sparkling, likable personality, cuz life is gonna be rough otherwise. Anyways, Mark also wants to let you know that Amazing Race is coming back in a few days. This is very exciting for Mark. Mark misses Amazing Race very much. Without the Patriots and Tom Brady this fall, it's all going to come down to his enjoyment of Amazing Race to keep life interesting. Well, that and Gossip Girl and Mark's vacation to Japan, which is coming up fast. Mark is not at all ready. There are too many things going on at work and at home to worry about. One of the things to worry about at home is the damn refrigerator. The door gaskets need replacing. Yup, Mark hasn't even gotten to enjoy his newly-remodeled kitchen for more than two weeks and he already has to have service calls. What a freaking hassle. Oh, and Mark's DSL hasn't worked for the past day, but Mark didn't really freak out because Mark has his beloved iPhone, newly upgraded to the iPhone software version 2.1. It appears to have improved things slightly in terms of getting bars inside the office building. Just slightly though. Aside from all the business here and there, Mark has also been out of sync lately. Don't know why. Mark has just feeling really disconnected from the world at large. Mark knows that's a sign of depression, which Mark has been on the brink of for a long, long time. Well, it's here again, rearing its ugly little head. But Mark will surely get over it and then get back into it - it's sort of the pattern. So Mark is going to be fine and tells all his fans not to be concerned. Mark will still try to have a laugh, such as at Clay Aiken's declaring he is gay. Mark is all about people being themselves, and Mark is very gay-friendly (Mark watches Project Runway AND Top Design AND Gossip Girl and listens to Madonna AND Pet Shop Boys...). Nonetheless, Gay Aiken just as is is funny enough for Mark, and Gay Aiken coming out on the cover of People magazine holding his sperm-bank baby is just high-larious. It's like Mark declaring he is Asian and posing on a magazine eating a pizza. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to Mark either. But that's what makes life funny - the things that don't make sense. If everything makes sense, Mark would have nothing to shake his head or roll his eyes to. Mark always enjoys laughing at other people's ridiculousness as a way of drowning his own sorrow. Mark says try that out; it's very effective. Alright. Mark is signing out now. Peace out. Mark promises to be back soon.

feathers in his cap

Damn it, I am going to wear feathers in my cap if i want to. I am going to sit down on a bucket to wait for the train. Cuz I don't give a damn what y'all think. It's a hard life, and I am tired of caring...

superbad part deux

Yeah, so Tom Brady tore his MCL and ACL and is out for the season. What a freaking disaster. There is now no redemption for the Superbowl loss, at least not for another year. Is this it for Tom and his super career? Is it all downhill from this point on? Maybe God giveth, and He taketh away. You get good looks, 3 Superbowl wins, and a supermodel girlfriend, and that's where it stops. It's just all too much. Other people need that good luck instead. Other people like me, who has hip pain that's just killing me for the past two weeks. And I don't even have the Superbowl wins or the supermodel girlfriend. Other people like me who can't even walk without pain, who get stuck doing crappy, uninteresting stuff for a living, whose newly remodel kitchen has a leaking garbage disposal. I bet Tom never has to worry about his kitchen remodeling. He has people for things like that. I want people to do that kind of things for me, to help me worry, so my mind can be used for other, more purposeful things. Things that lead me to greatness instead of self-destruction. You know, things like writing an Oscar-winning screenplay or a Pulitzer-winning novel. I have those in me, but they are just being cock-blocked by my worrying, self-defeating alter-ego. If it weren't for that son-of-a-bitch of an alter-ego, I could have been great. I could have a contender. I could have been Tom Brady. Instead, I am me - pathetic, aging, single bureaucrat/tv watcher/blogger. Damn you, alter-ego! Damn you!

But this really isn't about me. It's about Tom Brady, and how freaking depressed I am at this turn of event. It's about the end of my football season, the potential end of my enjoyment of football. I am filled with bitterness and disappointment. For too long, I depended on Tom and the Pats to lift my spirit, to make my life a little better every Sunday, to fill me with hope and faith. Yes, for a good run there, something I was rooting for actually came through. Sixth round draft pick becomes a legend. I was so totally in it for the ride. Take me skyward, Mr. Brady! And now, it may be over for good. Will he ever be the same again? Not likely. Now I have to create my own hope and faith. I have to become my own legend. Talk about tall order. I think I better stop thinking about all this negative crap that's swirling above me and get to writing that manifesto to greatness...

superbad

The Amazing Race 13 is premiering on September 28. I so cannot freaking wait. I live for this stuff. Yes, while other people live for their family and children and saving the world and fighting for human rights, I live for The Amazing Race, the Patriots, new Madonna/Coldplay music, sushi, and my iPhone. Yeah, I care more about who's going to win The Amazing Race than I do who's going to be our next President. Obama, schn-bama.

Anyways, the new cast has been revealed. Team Superbad and hippie beekeepers? Oh yeah - that's what I'm talkin' about!

Update: Scratch that stuff about the Patriots - Tom Brady just got knocked out of the Patriots season opener with a knee injury. It may be a lost season now. Man, talk about superbad...

hole in the wall

The new tv season is upon us. The first premiere was this past Monday's Gossip Girl; it was freaking fantastic. I mean, come on, Madchen Amick is back, baby!!!

Here are the new shows I am going to give a chance to:
The Mentalist (I think Simon Baker is just too cool)
Fringe (it's from J.J. Abrams of Lost and stars Pacey from Dawson's Creek - sounds very X-File-ish)
The Ex-List (I like the premise - woman is told by psychic that her one true love is already someone she dated and she has to now re-date her exes to find out who is really the one, and I like Elizabeth Reaser from Grey's Anatomy.)
Hole In The Wall (American version of Japanese game show where people contort their bodies to fit through a...hole in the wall - come on, that just makes me smile.)
Life On Mars (Guy gets hit by car in 2008 and wakes up in 1973 and has to solve crimes wearing bell bottoms. Not a comedy. Just crazy enuff to work.)
Sons Of Anarchy (Charlie Hunnam is also too cool for school.)

And my top 10 favorite returning shows (pretty much in order):
Amazing Race
Gossip Girl
Desperate Housewives
Brothers & Sisters
Survivor Gabon
Grey's Anatomy
Samantha Who?
Burn Notice
Dancing With The Stars
Eli Stone

Oh, my prediction for first cancellation of the season? Crusoe. Mark my word.