my name is mark. i watch a lot of tv.

With the start of the new tv season, I have not been able to watch my shows fast enough. Catching up with Tivo is like a second full time job for me. The last couple of weekends have been spent sitting in front of my tv and turning my brain into mush. Actually it really already is mush, but I guess it can always get mushier.

So far, the first few episodes of the new season of Glee have not reached the heights of the original premiere that aired back in May. It's still an enjoyable show, but it's also somewhat uneven (like, what's up with Will forming Acafellas?). Hopefully it'll pick up momentum again. The original premiere has earned enough goodwill in me to last a while.

I really like the reboot of Melrose Place. I like these soapy dramas, with good looking people (uh, Ashlee Simpson not amongst good looking people I am referring to) and over-the-top plotlines (rich kid who makes money stealing art, medical student who prostitutes herself to pay tuition...). But the ratings have been horrible, so I shouldn't get too attached. At least Heather Locklear has signed on to help save the show.

The Vampire Diaries is just okay. It's like Twilight on tv. The thing is, I am not too crazy about the actor who plays the good vampire Stefan. He doesn't have that ethereal Edward Cullen quality.

I figured out why I'm falling out of like with Gossip Girl. I realized I like none of the characters. They are all kinda self-absorbed and bratty and in the end one-noted. Unlike, say, the characters from The O.C. I mean, you cannot help but root for Ryan Atwood to succeed and do good. Ah, The O.C. - I loved that show...

Holy crap. Is that guy Russell on Survivor Samoa for reals? He is the nastiest guy ever (sabotaging his team by emptying their water canteens and burning their socks while they are sleeping). But that figures, since he owes an oil company and is from Texas. All of Russell's evil-doings are taking the attention away from Ben, who is as big of a misogynist a-hole as you can encounter - in any other season, he would be the focus of collective ire. Man, watching these reality shows really chaps my hide sometimes.

Lifetime's Project Runway is pretty much the same as Bravo's Project Runway. I am rooting for Christopher and Logan, Logan in particular just because he is cool and I like his name. I would name my son that. The sister show Models On The Runway is lame - those models have no control over their own destiny, which makes a stupid reality show. I am rooting for Michael the younger brother chef and Kevin and Jennifer on Top Chef, but we all know the real reason to watch Top Chef is Padma.

Nobody jumps out at me yet on the new season of So You Think You Can Dance. I am waiting for the return of that seventeen year old kid Nathan from last season's audition. He was so good that they gave him a ticket straight to Vegas for this season (because he was too young for last year). (But then again we all know the reason to really watch SYTYCD is Cat Deeley.)

Aside from Samantha Who? (still a travesty that it got canceled - WTF?), I haven't watched any sitcoms in a while. The new Modern Family and Cougar Town (from Bill Lawrence, who created Scrubs) are actually rather good. But my favorite new show so far is probably Community, the NBC sitcom set in a community college starring Joe McHale from Talk Soup. The comedy is actually funny (like really funny - go figure), and the first episode is an homage to The Breakfast Club. How chic.

I still have to catch up on Fast Forward and am anxiously waiting for the premiere of V. And of course, this Sunday, we have the return of my favorite show - The Amazing Race, which just won its seventh straight Emmy for best reality show. It's even a two-hour premiere!

Yeah, so this is my brain. And this is my brain on tv.

me or the free chicken?

Michael Jackson apparently did an interview nine years old, in which he made statements like he thought Madonna was in love with him and he could cure Hitler if he had an hour to sit with him and he healed children by touching them.

You know, it's a most difficult task to walk that fine line - to be realistic with oneself but not let reality deplete one of hope and keep you from dreaming. In the end, it's not always a bad thing to have a little self-delusion. A lot of people depend on that to get through life. Like there is this fat cow of a woman at work, who is both ugly inside and out, who once sued an online dating company for her lack of matches. Or this old guy with greased-down hair who thinks he is charming when he sweet-talks girls while they all just laugh behind his back. Same said guy always tells long-winded proud story of how he is the first CPA in Guam and how he used to work for the governor there, again to the mockery of his coworkers. Or this woman who thinks her husband looks like young Jack Kerouac, when he probably more closely resembles Jack In The Box. Or generally a lot of people who think they are stuck in poverty because the Man is keeping them down.

I suppose I could use a dose of this self-delusion and stop seeing the world for all its concrete harshness and seeing myself for all my cracks and faults. Well, along those lines, I thought I too would take a shot at making some delusional statements about me-self. Here goes:

- I am single because I am picky.
- I am an artist.
- It's just a bad picture.
- We are all God's children.
- I am so tired of meaningless one-night stands. I am not a sex toy, people!
- They call you "sir" because they are polite, not because you look old.
- Pffft...I can do that.
- Somewhere out there, you-know-who's thinking about me too.
- I am a badass deep down.
- I will win a Pulitzer one day, for that novel that will be hailed as the second coming of Salinger.
- The novel will write itself.
- And then I win attract supermodels, brainy ones at that, like moths to a flame.
- I can control my cholesterol without the aid of medication.
- That's sun damage, not age spot.
- I am not racist.
- I am one lottery ticket away from a new life.
- Money will not change me.
- If you give me an hour with Kim Jong Il, I can convince him that he should pursue his dream to become a hair stylist and give up on this world domination silliness.

So please support my delusions from this point forth and not burst my bubbles. Like when I tell you that this Chinese girl is checking me out on the bus, don't tell me that there is a "Free Chicken" sign behind me.

she works hard for the money

In celebration of Madonna's Celebration, here is a mixtape of my favorite Madonna anti-hits:
1. Sidewalk Talk
2. I Know It
3. Physical Attraction
4. Gambler
5. The Look Of Love
6. Where's The Party
7. Promise To Try
8. Oh Father
9. Keep It Together
10. Why It's So Hard
11. More
12. What Can You Lose?
13. Forbidden Love (Bedtime Stories)
14. Love Tried to Welcome Me
15. I Want You
16. You'll See (Spanish Version)
17. Candy Perfume Girl
18. Skin
19. To Have And Not To Hold
20. Little Star
21. Like An Angel Passing Through My Room
22. Has To Be
23. Paradise
24. Gone
25. Nobody Knows Me
26. Nothing Fails
27. Intervention
28. Easy Ride
29. Future Lovers
30. Let It Will Be
31. Forbidden Love (Confessions On A Dance Floor)
32. Is This Love (Bon D'Accord)
33. Devil Wouldn't Recognize You
34. Voices

Listening back, American Life had some damn fine songs like Nothing Fails - and her voice sounds awesome, with that tinge of weariness that I always liked. And even Hard Candy has its good share of awesomeness. While I find myself thinking Madonna's lyrics have gone to crap as of late, I am surprised to find how much depth there is in Devil and Voices.

It speaks a lot to her musical legacy that I actually had a hard time trimming this list down. A collection of her non-singles sounds better than most others' greatest hits package.

one full year of glee

Glee has been renewed for the entire first season. Awesome, right?

(The animated gif is "borrowed" from the Glee fan forum. It's positively joyous!)

four dreams

I've been rather active in my dream life lately. Some action-packed, some make me sad, all bizarre. I would blame it for overeating before sleeping, but I haven't. I think it's my subconscious telling me, I've got issues. But then again, my subconsicious ain't telling me that my conscious didn't already know. These are four dreams I remember from the last couple of weeks:

- I dreamed that my boss was being terminated because somebody accused her of discrimination cuz she complained about people not cleaning up after a Bar Mitzvah party in the company break room. She was really distraught, and at one point, when I looked at her, her face turned into Cloris Leachman's. I freaked.

- I dreamed that I got into a Matrix-style kung fu battle with...a pork meatball in a restaurant. Yes, I distinctly remember it was pork, not beef. It was a tough sucker. Every time I destroyed it (smashed it, tore it in half...), it just reformed and kept coming back at me. But I was displaying some pretty awesome moves myself in this battle, halting the meatball in mid-flight just with the force of my palm. It was like a classic Chinese kung fu movie, with flying and magic palms and everything, except with a meatball.

- I dreamed that I was on a class field trip on a bus, and you-know-who happened to be there. I said, "Hey, how are you doing?" And after some awkward exchanges of pleasantry, you-know-who proceeded to tell me about changing birthday due to some Chinese superstitution. It was as if things were back to normal, the way it used to be. I woke up from this dream rather sad because I know in real life, it won't play out like this.

- I dreamed my car somehow ended up on a ledge at the side of my house, and someone was trying to get it down and ended up smashing it into the ground and totalling it. Then in the same dream, I lost my jacket which had both my iPhone and my Panasonic camera inside the pockets.

nothing lasts; it's better that way

Top ten songs I'm listening to now:

10. Ashamed Of The Story I Told - The National
9. Fugitive - David Gray
8. Mrs. Cold - Kings Of Convenience
7. Rainy Saturday - Brown Recluse
6. In These Arms - The Swell Season
5. Heartbeat Radio - Sondre Lerche
4. Teardrops - XX
3. Pursuit Of Happiness - Kid Cudi
2. On My Own - Glee Cast
1. Sing Sang Sung - Air

what would madonna do?

I like Madonna like this. More natural look makes her look younger and sexier. These are pics from Saturday nite, at the opening of a club called The Boom Boom Room in NYC.

On Sunday, she made an appearance at the VMAs, with a tribute speech to Michael Jackson. But all that was overshadowed by Kanye's antics. What an ass he is. Now I actually have to like Taylor Swift.

Then she popped up at the Marc Jacobs show @ Fashion Week, with photo ops with Lady Gaga. I am actually so tired of Lady Gaga now - and I was championing her for the longest time before she broke really, really big. Her songs initially were really catchy to me. But after repeated listening, they got old fast. And then her live performances and videos sort of leave me cold. Her "performance art" doesn't really do it for me.

Madonna has a greatest hits compilation coming out. It has two new songs on it - Celebration and Revolver. Neither can be considered great artistic achievements. In fact, after numerous listens, both are somewhat catchy but ultimately pedestrian. And don't even get me started on the Celebration video, or any of her videos since...Don't Tell Me. Yup, I think that was about her last inspired video. I mean, some of her concert backdrop videos are breathtaking, but the music video outputs as of late have been disappointing and, God forbid, ordinary. That's not the Madonna I know. I was watching her 93-99 video collection recently, and man, it was one visual masterpiece after another. She really was making art back then. I am seriously yearning for the glory days again, when she is inspired and hungry again to take me to the heights of the likes of Ray Of Light or Like A Prayer. I have hope and faith in the next chapter - the Live Nation chapter of her career. I can't wait to see what would Madonna do.

i was gonna miss my flight

she told me i was gonna miss my flight/i knew i knew/but somehow there was nothing left to do/but to resign to this foreign air/and the music/and the perfume lingered that afternoon/in that parisian apartment there was nothing left in me/but i knew there was nothing left back home too/so i said fine fine/go ahead and pour me one more/tell me one more story about your grandmother/and the way she taught you/sure i thought about right and wrong/but came to conclude it was inconclusive/this foreign light filtering through the dusty windows/what to make of all the excuses/all the failures that came before/from careful planning every step of a mechanical life/this this was the mistake i was waiting for/a mistake made of molecules crashing/weaved of youth and yearning/that day i remember the person i used to be/a head full of fanciful ideas/and expectations of a life yet unlived/yeah i threw out the blueprint/abandoned the plan/gave up the fight/that afternoon she told me/i was gonna miss my flight

september i got your number

1. Teardrops - The XX
2. Your Ghost (Kristin Hersh cover) - Greg Laswell
3. Fugitive - David Gray
4. Sycamore - Bill Callahan
5. A Whole Lot Better - Brendan Benson
6. Lovin' Her Was Easier (Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again) - Richard Buckner
7. Not About Love - Fiona Apple
8. Girl Sailor - The Shins
9. I Don't Want To Live On The Moon - Joseph Gordon-Levitt
10. Dying In Africa - Sally Shapiro
11. Songs Remind Me Of You - Annie
12. The Longer U Wait (featuring Simone White) - Fol Chen

hell hath no fury like a chinese woman after free stuff

So, Saturday morning I was doing my second event with Asian American for Community Outreach. This time it was at Bethal Grace Lutheran Church near San Bruno Ave. The church distributes groceries from the Food Bank every Saturday morning, mostly to low-income Chinese people in the neighborhood. When we got there, the Reverend asked whether any of us wanted to help sign people up for a special food distribution coming up in October, sponsored by the Chinese Newcomers Center in Chinatown. I thought, why not? I can speak enough Chinese to do the job. All it required was for me to put down any interested person's name, ID and zip code. Easy enough. The Reverend suggested that we start out front, where the people were in line waiting for the day's distribution. So the three of us who volunteered for this task went outside. I innocently went up to a few old Chinese ladies who were sitting on the steps and sat down next to them. I asked whether any of them were interested in signing up for free groceries for next month. As I began writing down the first few people's info, the line sort of collapsed, and more and more people gathered around me and began shoving their IDs at me. There was no order whatsoever. I tried to get the info down as quickly as I could and move on to the next person. But it was a lost cause; I just wasn't fast enough, and the crowd just grew bigger and more impatient. Then a couple of ladies began grabbing my paper and pen and insisted on writing their own names down. And to make matters worse, the girls who were working for the church began yelling at me to stop whatever I was doing and for people to reform the line. At this point, I had no idea where the two other volunteers who were doing the same thing as I were. Finally, I just told the crowd that I can only do three more and I had to stop. I mentioned that I would be signing them up later inside the church. But the old ladies wouldn't have it and kept pleading me to do just one more. I had to be ruthless and turned them down. As I walked away, I heard a couple of them cuss at me. I was like, WTF, I am just volunteering here; I don't freaking get paid to put up with this crap. I mean, really???

Anyways, the story ends okay. We went upstairs, arranged some tables, and the old ladies came up after they got their food for the day and continued to sign up. We ended up signing up 299 people.

I tell you though, compare to the homeless, alcoholics, and drug addicts, old Chinese ladies are rude and mean and ungrateful. Don't mess with them. For reals.

back off, sistas!

OMG - just got mobbed by Chinese old ladies. Details to come...

glee

GLEE is back, on September 9. Be there or be square.

Check out Matthew Morrison performing Leaving On A Jet Plane above. Man, I wish I can sing.

lola and rocco