steel cut heart

Weather: Rainy
State: Sleepy
Music: Garrett Hedlund's Country Strong songs and The Streets' Cyberspace and Reds mixtape
Last Movie: Piranha - there is a lot, I mean a lot, of boobage in this
Reading: Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro (if you call having the book sit on my nightstand reading)
Last Pleasure: Eating at Kappou Gomi on Geary Blvd
Last Worry: Where is the Tom McRae Streetlights Collection cd I ordered from his website back on Dec 24?
Looking Forward To: The Oscars (even if I smell a King's Speech upset coming over The Social Network)
Not Really Looking Forward To: My next doc appt in which Dr Wong is gonna tell me I need to go on cholesterol medication
Gas Price: $3.43/gallon for the Honda
Clothes: Grey Gap cardigan, black Old Navy polo, dark grey Lands' End Canvas slim fit khaki
Today's Headline: Egyptians Face Lawlessness, Mubarak Hangs On
Current Desktop Wallpaper: Norwegian Wood
Last Website Visited: Lands End Canvas
Last Meal: Steel cut oatmeal
Last Purchase: White dress shirt from H&M
Item Off My Wishlist: Amco enamel aluminum lemon squeezer
Latest Evidence It's A Beautiful World: The Heart Reef in Australia

oscar the grouch

I hate it when my favorites get snubbed by the Oscars. And it happens every year.

This year, the ones that hurt are:

- Christopher Nolan got no best director nom for Inception;
- Ryan Gosling got no best actor nom for Blue Valentine; and
- Andrew Garfield got no best supporting nom for The Social Network.

Yeah, travesty. Sometimes, as the injustice piles up in this cruel, hard world, I look up to God and silently scream, "If not now, when??? When are you going to interfere and make the world right again???!!!"

I mean, seriously, if God doesn't preside over people killing each other in religious wars, and He doesn't preside over good people, like my friend Yvonne's father, getting stage 4 cancer (I just learned this today), AND He doesn't preside over the Oscars, then what exactly does He do? Ok, that heart-shaped coral reef thingy they showed on Oprah is pretty neat accomplishment. But what else? Fair question, me thinks.

who can it be now?

Sigh. Another dream about you-know-who yesterday night.

In the dream I ran into you-know-who's father, and we carried on a conversation. It became apparent that he had no idea that we haven't seen each other in a long time. I asked him how you-know-who was doing, and he told me that you-know-who was actually in Australia traveling with a friend and that I should have gone along.

Next thing in the dream, I was standing at some vista point somewhere in Australia, looking out to an amazing sunset. I wasn't there with you-know-who. I remember in the dream feeling insanely jealous of whoever it was that went with you-know-who. I asked somebody to take a picture for me in front of the sunset.

That was all I could remember.

Australia??? Damn you, Oprah.

q and a: the holiday

In the first of a series, I am doing a Q&A for my fans -

How do you like your new hair? How does Justin react to it?
Uh, it's the same $15 haircut I get every month. Except I got it extra short the last time. It was too short, I think. I like it at the length it is now, three weeks after. I always like my haircut better after a few weeks. So if I have a function or something, I think I should cut it two, three weeks ahead of time. Justin who? You mean, the Bieb? He is insanely jealous of the fact that I get to cut my hair anyway I like. I am sure his people/handlers would have a cow if he does anything to that precious head of his.

With your diverse heritage, what are your family holiday traditions?
Yeah, my father and mother come from different villages in Southeast China, probably like at least twenty miles apart. It's very confusing sometimes. During certain Chinese holidays, my mother used to tell me not to wash my hair, whereas my father said we have to eat vegetarian. I was like, which is it - not wash my hair or eat vegetarian? Please make up your mind.

Please tell us! What's it like kissing Jude Law?
Dude, do you take me for Mr. Ripley???!!!

If you could switch places with anyone for the holidays, whose life would you want to live temporarily?
Jesus. Cuz how awesome would it be for everybody in the world to be celebrating your birthday? Or a turkey farmer. Ch-ching! You sell a lot of turkey during the holidays. Or a ham farmer.

What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
When it's past 9pm Saturday night on the West Coast, I like to go online and check out the Target Weekly Ad to see what's on sale the next week. See, by 9pm here, it's already Sunday on the East Coast, so they have the following week's ad up online. But don't bother checking at 8:55pm - it's not there yet. Just a little hint for the kids out there.

You are one of Hollywood's biggest celebs, but you seem to manage to stay so down to earth. How?
I am in constant fear that one day I would wake up and my awesomeness just disappears, and I become ordinary just like everyone else. Yeah, that fear keeps me humble for sure. You should never think you are better than the people below you.

Is parenthood something you'd eventually like?
Yup, I would love to have my little Jamal and Jamocha running around.

If not acting, what is something that you would love to master?
I'd love to master bate. Haha. Oldest joke in the book.

Where is your favorite holiday vacation spot?
Hong Kong. There is this one spot on the Hong Kong island side, at the harbor where you catch the ferry to Cheung Chau, that has the best curry fish ball on a stick.

When you are not filming, what is a typical day like for you?
I watch out for Amazon.com's lightning deals. They change deals every two hours. It's crazy, dude.

What is the most precious gift that you ever gave?
I gave my mother a down comforter a few years ago. It's very symbolic. It's the gift of warmth. It's like, every night she can wrap herself in the warmth I gifted her. It's sort of like when the Elf Queen gives Frodo the gift of light...except it's a comforter.

You can compare my answers to a certain celebrity's here.

one more

One more to add to the injustice list: Robyn should be way bigger than Lady Gaga and Katy Perry.

One more example that the Brits do it better: UK's Skins vs MTV's remake of Skins.

One more casting news that irks me to no end: Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman in Nolan's Dark Knight Rises (ARGHHH!).

One more Ashton Kutcher movie that I have zero interest in watching, even if it popped up on cable in the middle of night while I am channel-surfing: No Strings Attached, with Natalie Portman.

One more chance for Buffy's return to tv: Sarah Michelle Gellar in potential CBS pilot called Ringer.

One more reason I've grown so tired of Robert Downey Jr's smarminess: His presentation at the Golden Globes.

One more evidence that I judge the dress and not the person: I actually admit Anne Hathaway looked really good at the Golden Globes.

One more memory I want to relive: When I was eating Chinese fried donut in Beijing.

One more city to add to my bucket list: Melbourne (thanks, Oprah!)

One more hottie to drool over: Olivia Wilde, who could have played Catwoman.

One more potential candidate to play Catwoman who is better than Anne Hathaway: Kiera Knightley, who is very cat-like.

One more Swedish jam for my playlist: Peter Bjorn & John's new song Breaker Breaker.

One more thing to like about James Franco: His upcoming movie Your Highness.

One more thing to like about Ryan Gosling: His ukulele.

One more Ben Affleck movie that I am surprised to like: The Town (although I do like Gone Baby Gone better).

One more turn of good fortunes: I am only going to need to travel two more weeks for work instead of four! All that praying (i.e., whining) works.

One more sign that Johnny Depp is becoming predictable and not as cool as everyone thinks: He is voicing an animated feature (Rango) and making a documentary about Keith Richards. All this after starring with Angelina Jolie in The Tourist. Yawn. And what's with the stupid chain always hanging out of his pants pocket, even when wearing a tux? (This is coming from a Johnny Depp fan from all the way back.)

One more reason to hate on Kanye: Supposedly he convinced Kim Kardashian to sing. WTF!

One more step towards the apocalypse: More dead animals.

One more step towards them gays taking over the world: Kurt Colfer, Jane Lynch, and Glee winning Golden Globes, and Kurt Colfer and Darren Criss on cover of Entertainment Weekly this week. Man, I think there is some hidden agenda to brainwash our straight American kids...

One more reason to get excited about the film adaptation of On The Road: It's directed by Walter Salle, who made The Motorcycle Diaries.

One more ammunition for Piers Morgan against Madonna: She supposedly abandons plan to build a girl's academy in Malawi. But sorry, in the words of Madonna, who is Piers Morgan again??

One more reason hosting awards shows is a thankless job: Ricky Gervais getting lots of heat for making (vicious) fun of those in attendance at the Golden Globes.

One more step towards The Hobbit: Ian McKellan confirmed to return as Gandalf. And Orlando Bloom rumored to make cameo as Legolas, even though his character is not in book.

One more 3D movie I wished I had seen in the theatre: Piranha 3D.

One more nugget of wisdom from Oprah: Speaking to her ultimate viewers who were treated to a trip to Australia, she said that her gift to them is to show them that anything can happen in life if you open yourself up to it. Yup, we should not despair as long as Oprah is around, cuz at anytime, she can show up as your fairy godmother and make your woes go away. My request to Oprah: can I get a hottie girlfriend (who doesn't know she's a hottie so she won't constantly be thinking, What the hell am I doing with him?) please? If not that, I'll take a job that I would be passionate about. Either of these would really save me.

i have a dream

I have a dream, just like MLK, that in an alternate universe, the world would be a better place and:

- The Jets would march out of Gillette Stadium yesterday with their tails between their legs, and the Pats would march their way into Superbowl history under the quiet mastery of Tom Brady.

- My mother would be one of those youthful seniors, like Betty White but not Raquel Welch - that's kinda too much. Really, all I want is for my mother to not have trouble getting around. In fact, in my dream, all old people can walk spritely. Why the heck not?

- Michelle Pfeiffer and Marisa Tomei would be more appreciated and would have their choice of roles. They would be Golden Globe and Oscar regulars just like Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman and the like. Oh, and Michelle Pfeiffer would have made a Catwoman movie to follow up Batman Returns.

- Gay kids don't get bullied, and they can sing Teenage Dream in public anytime they want.

- People you love will always love you back. There would be no lopsided love, ever.

give in to him

My current top ten tunes:

10. Fight For This Love - Vampire Weekend
9. I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li
8. Rhythm Of Love - Plain White T's
7. The Bike Song - Mark Ronson & The Business Intl
6. We R Who We R - Ke$ha
5. Tree By The River - Iron & Wine
4. Timing Is Everything - Garrett Hedlund
3. Basket - Dan Mangan
2. Chances Are - Garrett Hedlund
1. Give In To Me - Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester

Yeah, I have to admit I am pretty obsessed with Garrett Hedlund singing country. He has a killer voice for down-beaten country songs about broken hearts and broken dreams. The alternative Country Strong soundtrack, featuring most of his songs, is #1 on iTunes; it's even beating the original Country Strong soundtrack. Yes, there is justice (despite the outcome of yesterday's Patriots-Jets game)!

some pieces i can't replace

This song makes me really sad. I look at my mother and think that's what she must think, and then I think that's what I'll think someday.



We are young
We have years ahead maybe
We might fall in love
Fall apart
Fall apart
Before it ends
Well we should try to start

So I'll go but I'm telling you I don't wanna go
Could be stuck here and happy

So there's a puzzle I work on endlessly
And I've got the sides and all the corners
But there's a space
Yeah there's a space
Lost some pieces I can't replace

So I'll be but I'm telling you I don't wanna be
Just a wasted puzzle piece

We are old
And our son took the dog away
And fair enough, guess we're tired all the time
All the time
And you know dogs they need ample time outside

So I'll stay but I'm telling you I don't, I don't wanna stay
So I'll brace myself against the wall and hope to God that I don't fall
My bones are worn, my hip won't hold
I used to be so young, how did I get so old?
Won't you take my cane and hold my hand
You're holding onto all I have
Just a basket full of memories
And I am losing more each day it seems
But if I can make it to the street
I'll steal a car or a bike whatever there is to steal
And it might get cold I just don't care
I'm going 'til I'm getting there
I'll ride my steed all through this town
'Til I have looked and I have found
Your peaceful memory
Won't you return to me?
Won't you return to me?

cowboy flunkie

This past week in Dallas:

- Went to Pappa's Bar-B-Q, Texas Land & Cattle, and Uncle Julio's for dinner. Pappa's BBQ was the best deal (daily dinner special - Monday's was beef brisket and hot links - was only $4.95 - B+), and Uncle Julio's fish taco was the best tasting (A-). We actually went to Texas Land & Cattle twice, not by my choice, and both times I was disappointed (C for both rib eye steak and salmon).

- Coworker tried to order ginger-ale in two restaurants, and they didn't have it. At Texas Land & Cattle, the waiter said the bartender can make it and then brought back a mix of Pepsi and Sprite. Uh, okay. Is ginger-ale something foreign down south?

- For lunch, we went mostly to food court at the Renaissance Tower. It was all very bland and forgettable, including Kuai for a chicken rice bowl and Dickie's for a pulled pork sandwich (both C-).

- I actually saw two guys in cowboy hats strolling through the airport with their luggage - reminds me of the cowboys on Amazing Race. It probably wasn't them.

- I talked to this couple for the entire return flight. They are both Army retirees. He was the type who could probably talk to anybody about anything. I was glad to have the distraction for the four-hour flight. Still have no idea why it takes four hours just to get from Dallas to San Francisco. It doesn't look that far on the map.

- I ran over a traffic cone in a restaurant parking lot and got the cone stuck underneath the car. The two cars, loaded with fellow coworkers, all witnessed it, and yes, they all gave me a hard time. I seriously need new glasses to drive at night - it's kinda ridiculous that I didn't see an orange cone at all.

- Dallas is hosting the Superbowl this year. Man, I wish I were there at the same time as Tom Brady and the Pats. (Actually I shouldn't be jinxing that.)

- I stayed at this place called Homewood Suites. The lady at the front desk at night knew my name and greeted every night. And the hotel shuttle driver, who drove us to dinner one night, was super friendly too.

- It was freezing cold, with highs in the thirties, throughout the week. I don't think I've ever been anywhere that cold. Everytime I walked outside, I could feel the chill cut t0 my bone.

- The air was so dry that I was itching all over the place. In fact, I am still itching.

- The work part of the week was pure torture. Seriously I imagine this would be what hell is like. I am not overstating this. But regardless, four more weeks to go. At least this hell is not eternal.

- I fell asleep with the telly on every single night, watching Conan O'Brien. Thanks, Coco, for getting me through the cold Texas nights.

I am surprised that I squeezed this much to say about this past week. Dallas is as non-descriptive of a town as any I've been to. The place has absolutely no character. I guess I am not a fan.

f**k you with my hands

A new way of covering F**k You - love it:

a vicious cycle

Random thoughts from today, the day that Tom met Summer:

- The more possessions you have, the more you worry about them. It is true. My 95 Honda is giving me trouble again (losing coolant again but see no visible leak - crap, another head gasket leak into the engine?). Yet I still don't think I am ready to give it up. I still need to feel safe with a backup car. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense that a single guy like me needs a backup car.

- Got a surprising text from this girl that I haven't heard from in probably over half a year. She asks whether I would like to have lunch or dinner. Sigh. My life is just a vicious cycle (see car trouble above also).

- How come I can't get a text from the one I really want to hear from?

- I love eating clay pot rice on a freezing day like today. That's my dinner today.

- I haven't kept up with any of my resolutions. Porn, I wish I knew how to quit you.

- I am heading to Dallas, the land of George Bush and the Cowboys, tomorrow for work. After this week, it's two down, four to go. I am one-third of the way finished with the nightmare. Yup, that's how I am handling this. Just counting the weeks down. The rest of the nightmare resumes at end of February and will extend to around end of May. Actually this means I will have an awesome summer! Summer 2011 is going to be a blast cuz I will feel like a boulder will be lifted off me. I think I might even try to get in shape to prepare for the fun I might have come June. So yeah, you California gurls, you better get your daisy dukes ready for me.

- What happened in Arizona is just senseless. Among the dead is a nine year old girl and a federal judge. The target of the rampage, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, is fighting for her life. Violence is never the answer. People spew hate and anger so easily and so readily that they forget it's very easy to push things too far. And guns - don't even get me started on guns. The guy bought his semi-automatic from a Sportman's Warehouse.

- I engaged in my first craigslist transaction today. I sold the iPod Touch I got from Bank of the West for $180. A young Asian guy bought it from me. I picked him out of the few emails I got because he sounded the most normal. It's just a vibe you can get sometimes just from the way people write. At least this time it worked out. Chi Young and I met him at Starbuck's, and everything actually went pretty smoothly. Now I got to see what else I can sell. Does anybody want a monkey in a hula skirt playing the ukulele?

- The Jets defeated the Colts 17-16 and gets the honor of getting whipped by the Pats and Tom Brady next Sunday. God how I hate the Jets and their coach Rex Ryan.

resolutions, the extras

The eleven (less noble, less grandiose) 2011 resolutions that got left on the cutting room floor but may make it on to the dvd:

11. Stop checking work emails from home.
10. Stop checking porn from home (or anywhere else).
9. Moisturize more.
8. Backup my computer hard drive more frequently.
7. Balance my checkbook more frequently.
6. Throw away/recycle more stuff.
5. Stop eating instant ramen made in China.
4. Stop checking my iPhone everywhere I go - nobody called or texted or emailed!
3. Stop saying stuff I don't mean to people just to be polite. No, I don't think your baby (or dog or shoes) is cute.
2. Stop getting parking tickets or getting charged overdraft fees.
1. Stop falling asleep in bed while watching tv.

deception

I had always wanted to believe that in the ending of Inception, the totem was able to topple, and Cobbs actually made it out of limbo and was able to come back to reality to be with his children. One persistent argument people kept using against that interpretation was that the children were wearing the same clothes in the end as they were in the dream.

Well, now that we have the dvd, we can freeze-frame all we want. And guess what? The children are NOT wearing the same clothes.

These two pics are of the children in the beginning and middle of the movie, where Cobbs is "dreaming" of them:



And here are two pics of the children at the very end of the movie when they reunite with Cobbs:




The check pattern on the boy's shirt is different, and the trim at the bottom of the girl's dress is also different. In the theatre, you cannot possibly catch that. Verrry interesting that Christopher Nolan decided to use similar clothes to deceive the audience.

Also now that we can study this further, I also notice the boy's hair is longer and straighter in the end, and that the children have actually aged.

It's not a slam-dunk argument that the ending is the real world, but at least I can do away with the same-clothes argument that people kept using.

By the way, I did just rewatch Inception, and it clearly IS the best movie of the year. Let the Academy go give it to The Social Network, my mind is made up.

we deserve much better than we had

Phew. So glad that 2010 is done with. It was a depressing year to say the least. Let's get 2011 off to a fresh start with a new top ten song list:

10. Right Thru Me - Nicki Minaj
9. Gay Pirates - Cosmo Jarvis
8. Have I The Right - Vampire Weekend
7. Tree By The River - Iron & Wine
6. Lewis Takes Off His Shirt - Sondre Lerche
5. Rhythm Of Love - Plain White T's
4. Fight For This Love - Vampire Weekend
3. The Bike Song - Mike Ronson & The Business Intl
2. Give In To Me - Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester
1. Chances Are - Garrett Hedlund

The music video to song #9 is kinda awesome: