I am the one who forgets. I hate my bad memory. People would accuse that I said this and that in some distant past, when I am pretty sure I didn't, or that the conversation didn't quite go exactly as they say. Things get taken out of context or twisted. But unfortunately my memory is so fuzzy that I cannot effectively defend myself. I just think, I couldn't have possibly said that, but I may have said something close to it but not close enough for whatever I am being accused of to be the truth. It's so frustrating and exhausting.
I probably get myself in trouble sometimes for not being tight-lipped enough. I blame myself because it's not as if I don't know the pitfalls of gossip. I am not naive, and generally I don't trust people, but yet, over and over, I end up talking. Of course, it's all pretty innocent while it's happening. You think you are having a casual conversation, or you are just venting or confiding to a close friend, or having a laugh or poking fun, or showing solidarity against a common enemy. But it's a world of booby traps out there, and before you know it, you've got a mess.
So, from today on, I am going to try my sincerest to keep my mouth shut in the office. Nobody needs to know my business. And I don't need to know other people's. Just keep focused on work. That's what's important. And not complain so much, because nobody likes complainers, whether legit or not. I know this won't stop people from spreading plain old lies about me (as if I were a celebrity or someone worth lying about), but at least then, I could definitively say I am not contributing to it.
Either that, or I wish I could record every conversation as evidence. That way, I would be able to prove my innocence or maybe learn from where I went wrong. (But most likely, I will prove my innocence.)
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