the last goodbye

2014 was a year that I pretty much hated through and through.  I spent the better part of the year spending money on repairs to the house and then ended the year finding that all the repairs (every single one!!!) resulted in problems.  While the abdominal pain that plagued me for most of 2013 went away, I am now walking with an aching right hip and left knee.  And then in last couple of weeks, I started getting sharp pain in the lower back that was sometimes so excrutiating that I could barely walk, and then I added to my problems by crushing my right ribcage with my elbow while crawling under the lightwell stairs.  Basically I am ringing out 2014 as a complete cripple.  So yeah, 2014, you basically suck, so fuck off, you bugger.

But when I come out the other side, I can see great things in 2015:

-  New Madonna album Rebel Heart.
-  No more mortgage!  Ok, I might still end up with debt because I might need to take out a loan to do more repairs to the house, but still.
-   I think I might win the lottery next year.  The fact that a child molester can win a $3M lottery strangely gives me hope that I too can win.  I might not be as deserving as a new immigrant or a single working mother or even an elderly, but I surely am more deserving than a child molester.  See, secretly, in the back of my mind, I think oh, maybe the best things don't always happen to me because I am not really the best person.  Sometimes I am not nice to my mother, too impatient, too cheap with the tippings, too petty, too selfish, too scared of life.  But when a child molester wins the lottery, I think I can safely erase those self-doubting thoughts from my head.
-   Mad Max Fury Road.  Yeah screw Star Wars or the Avengers - the 2015 movie to wait for is Mad Max with Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron.
-   Rob Thomas' iZombie. Is this Veronica Mars as a zombie?
-  Jurassic World, with Star Lord!!!  
-  Crimson Peak - a gothic period haunted mansion movie starring Charlie Hunnam, Tom Hiddleston, and Jessica Chastain and directed by Guillermo del Toro.  I already have goosebumps.
-  Clean living - I am seriously going to make an effort to live with less clutter.  I am not going to buy things that take up a lot of space and will make 2015 the year in which I get rid of more stuff than I take in.  I am going to reverse that pattern.
-  I think I've learned that being a good person is not the same as being polite and nice.  I always want to be a better, more upstanding person, but I am tired of being just the polite and nice guy.  Sometimes I think I even come across as too meek.  Argh - I hate that word.  2015 will be the year that I become more of an asshole, with a good, kind heart of course.  I am going to practice being an ass.  I read somewhere that skill is just a product of repetition.  Basically I don't want people to like me but I want them to respect me.

2015 will be better than 2014.  That's all I want or demand - better.  Even just a little better is good enough. If that's all we ever want from life, not perfection but improvement over the day before or the year before, I think we should be able to go to bed with a clear mind and sleep peacefully.  For now, with hope in my pocket, I bid 2014 the last goodbye.

i did it all

My top ten songs of 2014:

 

1.  Take Me To Church - Hozier  (This is the 2014 version of Like A Prayer - is it about sex or about religion?  Well, it's obviously about both.)
2.  I Lived - One Republic (Every time I hear this song, it makes me want to live a better life.)
3.  Stay With Me - Sam Smith (The male Adele, until Adele comes back in 2015.)
4.  All Of Me - John Legend (The line "All of me loves all of you" gets me every time.)
5.  Monument - Royksopp with Robyn (This song's slow burn is epic.  In a perfect world, Madonna would be singing this.  But then Robyn is pretty perfect herself, so it's all good.)
6.  Devil Pray - Madonna (Ah, late breaking surprise from Madonna - another song about religious salvation.  I love the line about the ground getting warmer, and when the male Satan voice comes in.)
7.  Living For Love - Madonna (Best Madonna lead single since Hung Up from COADF.  It's classic Madonna about empowerment and survival through heartbreak.  She's gonna pick up that crown and put it back on her head alright.)
8.  Gold - James Vincent McMorrow (The 2nd Irish bloke in my top ten, in addition to Hozier.  Those guys know how to write dreamy, lush songs about love and longing.)
9.  Lost Star - Keira Knightley (I love Begin Again, and I love Keira Knightley.  That's all.)
10.  Wish I Were Here - Catpower with Coldplay (This is the Coldplay I love, but sung by Catpower.)

Notice that there are two songs - I Lived and Monument - in the top ten with the line "I did it all."  I spot a theme.

The whole top 100 of 2014 for me:

1		Take Me to Church	Hozier
2		I Lived	OneRepublic
3		Stay With Me	Sam Smith
4		All of Me	John Legend
5		Monument	Röyksopp & Robyn
6		Devil Pray	Madonna
7		Living For Love	Madonna
8		Gold	James Vincent McMorrow
9		Lost Stars	Keira Knightley
10		Wish I Was Here	Cat Power & Coldplay
11		Jackie and Wilson	Hozier
12		Every Age	José González
13		A Little Lost	Sufjan Stevens
14		Counting Stars	OneRepublic
15		Seasons (Waiting On You)	Future Islands
16		The Heart	NEEDTOBREATHE
17		Riptide	Vance Joy
18		Someone New	Hozier
19		Every Little Thing	Röyksopp & Robyn
20		Ghosttown	Madonna
21		Kiss And Not Tell	La Roux
22		Tell Me If You Wanna Go Home	Keira Knightley
23		Feels Like We Only Go Backwards	Arctic Monkeys
24		Do It Again	Röyksopp & Robyn
25		Magic	Coldplay
26		The Last Goodbye	Billy Boyd
27		Like Real People Do	Hozier
28		Love Runs Out	OneRepublic
29		Let Me Down Gently	La Roux
30		Not In That Way	Sam Smith
31		Leave Your Lover	Sam Smith
32		Work Song	Hozier
33		Love Me Like I'm Not Made of Stone	Lykke Li
34		A Step You Can’t Take Back	Keira Knightley
35		Ezra's Interlude (feat. Ezra Koenig)	Chromeo
36		All the Time	Bahamas
37		No Rest For the Wicked	Lykke Li
38		New York Morning	Elbow
39		Got Love	Tove Lo
40		Uptight Downtown	La Roux
41		Life In Color	OneRepublic
42		Mess Is Mine	Vance Joy
43		Burn	Ellie Goulding
44		Believer	American Authors
45		Shut Up and Dance	WALK THE MOON
46		Once Upon a Dream	Lana Del Rey
47		Latch	Disclosure Feat. Sam Smith
48		Good Kisser (Disclosure Remix)	Usher
49		Can't Be Broken	Twin Forks
50		Budapest	George Ezra
51		Sunshine (feat. Reggie Watts)	Flight Facilities
52		Sideways	Wrabel
53		Bitch I'm Madonna (feat. Nicki Minaj)	Madonna
54		Jealous	Nick Jonas
55		Jealous (I Ain't With It)	Chromeo
56		Let It Go	James Bay
57		Just Let Go	Sturgill Simpson
58		West Coast	Lana Del Rey
59		Stolen Dance	Milky Chance
60		New Dorp New York (Ft.  Ezra Koenig)	SBTRKT
61		It Will End in Tears	Philip Selway
62		Don't Wanna Dance	MØ
63		F For You	Disclosure
64		Best Day Of My Life	American Authors
65		Midnight	Coldplay
66		Wanderer Wandering	Slow Club
67		Busy Earnin'	Jungle
68		Slow Motion	PHOX
69		Love Someone	Jason Mraz
70		Bad Law	Sondre Lerche
71		Shadow's Song (featuring Owen Pallett)	Foxes in Fiction
72		Crystallized	Young the Giant
73		Down By the Riverside	Playing for Change
74		See You Fall	How To Dress Well
75		I'm Not the Only One	Sam Smith
76		Team	Lorde
77		Things We Lost In The Fire	Bastille
78		Sexy Socialite	Chromeo
79		Stay Awhile	She & Him
80		What's the News?	Basement Jaxx
81		Hero	Frank Ocean + Mick Jones + Paul Simonon + Diplo
82		Unapologetic Bitch	Madonna
83		I Don't Want To Change You	Damien Rice
84		Old 45's	Chromeo
85		Let It Go	Idina Menzel
86		Like a Fool	Keira Knightley
87		Coming Up Roses	Keira Knightley
88		what kind of love	Chidish Gambino
89		All About That Bass	Meghan Trainor
90		La La La (feat. Sam Smith)	Naughty Boy
91		Fooled Around and Fell In Love	Elvin Bishop
92		Turns Your Lights Down Low	Jim James
93		Empire	Shakira
94		Ordinary Human	OneRepublic
95		Everyday Robots	Damon Albarn
96		Blue Moon	Beck
97		A Sky Full of Stars	Coldplay
98		Just One of the Guys	Jenny Lewis
99		All Of The Stars	Ed Sheeran
100		Miracles	Coldplay

the year of the leaks

Oh leaks.

Sony Pictures hates them.  Madonna hates them.  I hate them.

My house is leaking all along the south wall and the rear.  Even after the paint job and the lightwell repair.  I am so lost as to what to do.  I am obsessing over it. 

Madonna's demos are leaking and leaking.  It forced her to change her album release plans.  I loved having the six Rebel Heart tracks to listen to during this Christmas season, but I hate it that it changes what she had planned.

Sony leak is allegedly linked to North Korea.  This ties back to the Seth Rogen/James Franco movie The Interview, a comedy the plot of which revolves around the assassination of Kim Jong Un.  The leak has wreaked major havoc in the Hollywood community, with embarrassing emails by top execs being made public.  (Horrors that Angelina is a brat!!!  What of the carefully crafted PR Mother Teresa-ly image???)  When the hackers called Guardians of Peace threatened a 9/11-ish attack, Sony pulled the release of The Interview.  Everyone now is crying foul and criticizing Sony for giving in to the terrorist threats.  That's not the American way, they say.  We don't cave in to terrorism.  Yeah but this is over a Seth Rogen/James Franco movie.  I wouldn't go to war with North Korea or anybody over that.  I mean, as I learned at work, you gotta pick your battles.  Principles are worth as much as my Dazzler comic books.  There are some things worth falling on your sword over, and then there is a half-baked Seth Rogen/James Franco vanity project.  Can you even imagine, one day in the history books, the kids learn about WWIII and our teachers have to tell the story about how it began with Seth Rogen and James Franco?  Talk about embarrassing.

Anyways, 2014 is the year of the leaks.  So troubling.  So hard to diagnose and find their source but so damaging.  I am hoping 2015 is the year of the seal, and not of the type that sharks hunt. 

 

black or white

About a week back, I heard something on the news from one of the protestors.  He said, "If we cannot get our justice in the legal system, we will get our justice on the streets."  I get it.  The killing of Eric Garner is non-sense and a tragedy, a tragedy for all Americans.  The guy was just trying to make a buck selling loose cigarettes on the streets, when he was put in a choke-hold by a NYC cop and died.  There was cell phone video evidence of the whole thing going down.  It was clear as day that Eric Garner never posed a threat to the cop.  Still, no indictment resulted.  Another black man's life is wasted and rendered meaningless by the courts and the law enforcement which are meant to protect all and preserve peace and justice and treat every man as equal.  That's the system we live in.  So no wonder people are mad.

Then two days ago two NYC cops were executed in their police cruiser, by a crazed gunman seeking revenge for Michael Brown and Eric Garner.  The officers never had a chance.  They were just sitting in their car when the gunman walked up and shot them in the head in cold blood.   
 
So what now?  Does the public go to war with the police and the government?  Do we have a revolution?  Is that the answer?

I know young black men are targeted by police officers.  I have no doubt this happens, and I also know for a fact people, including cops, are racist.  And people in power often abuse their power and authority.  But then I hate that we paint this black and white picture and incite these easy reactions. 

The thing is, I feel very differently between what happened with Eric Garner and Michael Brown.  Those incite different reactions with me,  Michael Brown was shown to have just robbed a convenience store earlier.  We have no idea what really happened which led to the shooting.  Michael Brown is not a martyr.  He should not be held up and celebrated, even as a symbol.  How can 5,000 people mourn at Michael Brown's funeral?  He was a street thug.  Eric Garner on the other hand was just trying to sell cigarettes to make some cash for his family.  There is no doubt that excessive force was used on Eric Garner, and someone should be held accountable.  We cannot have a system that would let an abusive cop who kills an innocent man walk away without consequence.  And by letting him off and having no accountability, two other cops' lives were lost, two cops who have nothing to do with what happened.  By the way, these two slain cops were of minority races - one was Asian and the other Latino.

My point is, Eric Garner is not Michael Brown.  The cop who killed Eric Garner is not the same as the cop who killed Michael Brown, and they are certainly not the same as the two cops who were sitting in their police cruiser when they were executed.  My feeling about what has occurred over the last few months  - the whole cop vs. black men and all the protests, looting, vandalism - is so mixed and convoluted.  I cannot distill my true feeling and what I believe is right or wrong.  That's the thing about growing older - I find myself constantly standing in this gray area, where I can see both sides of a story.  Is that due to lack of conviction, or is that maturity to be able to walk the line?  What if you find yourself not able to commit to a stance?   What if the good guys can be bad guys too?  What if right is not white, and black is not wrong?

living for xmas lights

Haha - that's brilliant.

living for madonna

Yesterday was a rough day for me.  My house troubles continue.  With the rain this past week, I've discovered that I have leaks all over the house into the garage.  This is in spite of the fresh paint job and the lightwell repairs that I spent a truckload of money on this year.  And then in examining the leaks, I am finding some substance in my garage that makes me think maybe I have termites.  So needless to say, I feel as if I am being punched in the stomach repeatedly.  Can't a boy catch a break?

Then I went to bed all mopey and overwhelmed, got on my iPad, and lo and behold, Madonna surprise release of Rebel Heart!!!

Apparently last week 13 of her demos were leaked, and she is forced to officially release six tracks to pre-empt the leaks.  I didn't listen to any of the demos, trying to hold out so to not ruin a new Madonna album experience. 

So yesterday night I preordered the official release and listened to the six pre-released tracks, including the lead single Living For Love.

My favorite of the bunch is Devil Pray, and it turns out to be a collaboration with Ryan Tedder!!!  I love Ryan Tedder.  I wish there is more than this one song with him.  He really is a craftsman.

I think Living For Love is a good single.  It has nice momentum and spirit.  I like the two Bitch songs - Unapologetic Bitch and Bitch I'm Madonna.  The chorus to UB is catchy as hell ("It might sound like I am an unapologetic bitch but sometimes you got to call it like it is..."), and Bitch I'm Madonna is just wackiness.  Ghosttown is pretty good (and apparently written by Madonna on her own?), and Illuminati is my least favorite.

I cannot wait for the rest of the tracks.  Oh, the album cover is killer!!!

Thank you, Madonna, for the distraction and lifting my spirit.  I am going to start this new year with you on repeat and with a renewed spirit.  I am going to tackle crap head on.  Go hard, or go home, right?

fall never happened, or how to get away with not writing for three months

It's almost as if fall never happened.  Got house painted, then came all the troubles with paint blisters/bubbles and caulking with cracks and holes.  Painter says my house is not in good condition to begin with, too old, too much moisture, thus all the problems.  I say, do I have "sucker" written on my forehead or something?  This always happens to me with contractors.

The umbrella revolution happened in HK.  I need to spend sometime writing about that.

Fall tv happened.  A show which I didn't like with the pilot but gave it a chance because of John Cho and Karen Gillan and then ended up really liking is already cancelled.  (Is that sentence really long and awkward?)  This is why I should never commit to any ABC comedy (Happy Ending, Samantha Who, Better Off Ted, etc.).  How To Get Away With Murder is really How To Get Away With A Bad TV Show.  I guess the Shondra Rhimes brand really works.  I keep watching it waiting for it to get good, and then it just gets worse.  Stop with those damn bonfire flashforwards already.  And who the hell cares who killed Sam?  I would have done it myself.  I am mildly liking The Flash and Gotham, but neither is anything resembling high art.  Marry Me is hilarious.  And Jane The Virgin is probably the best surprise of all - soapy adaptation of a Venezuelan telenovela that beats with a sweet, gentle heart.

The Giants won another World Series.  So three in five years - 2010, 2012, and 2014.  This time,  Madison Bumgarner was the hero of the series.  He was masterful.  Like a pitching ninja.  Meanwhile, the Patriots are putting together quite a good season.  They are now number one seed heading into December.  I don't want to jinx anything but come on already.  I just need one more Superbowl win with Tom Brady.  Just one more is all I ask.

My desktop died right before Black Friday.  So I ended up buying a new Dell laptop from the Microsoft Store yesterday.  I also bought random $3.99 blu rays like Silence Of The Lambs, the Indiana Jones movies (minus Crystal Skull of course, no offense to serious artist/rape victim Shia LeBeouf), and Lego movie, and the entire Fringe series on blu ray from Amazon UK.  Fringe is the next series to tackle while eating dinner.  Other Thanksgiving week loots include a down vest and some heat-retention base layer undershirts from Costco, a Uniqlo shirt, a Sad Keanu figure, a Toshiba portable hard drive, a Monoprice HDMI cable, a Tardis keychain that came what a Tardis glass ornament as free gift, and a couple of Guardians of the Galaxy Funko Pop bobbleheads to complete my collection.    

Feguson, Missouri happened.  Some white cop shot dead a black kid named Michael Brown, and walks away free, and a lot of people are mad.   Protests across the nation turn into looting opportunities of course.  The people who are so enraged by the injustice even crashed a car into a Prada store (or was it Chanel) and took all the merchandise.  Nothing like fancy handbags to make the world a better place.  You see, the argument goes something like, you gotta hit them where it hurts so they will listen.   

Honestly I am not sure what else happened in the last few months since I last checked in.  One thing that didn't happen is a new Madonna album.  She is still tinkering with it and hanging out in the studio with cringe-inducing people like Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus.  Yesterday a couple of songs leaked, but I am staying away.  I waited too long, and I am not going to let these leaks ruin my experience of a new Madonna album.  Other people mark their lives by marriage, kids, career changes, etc.  Mine is marked mostly by Madonna releases. 

So that's it.  Three months capped into a few paragraphs, as if real life just fast forwarded itself.  At least there isn't any bonfires involved.   

can we talk?

It is with a heavy heart I write this.  Joan Rivers died on Thursday.  A week ago she went to an outpatient clinic for a diagnostic procedure on her throat. In the midst of the procedure, she apparently stopped breathing and went into cardiac and respiratory arrest. She ended up in a medically-induced coma, and a week later, was taken off life support.  She was 81.

It's strange to say this about someone who is 81 years old, but she died too soon.

Joan Rivers was not sick.  She was not on the decline.  She was a busy body with her million engagements and projects.  She had her stand-up gigs, her Melissa & Joan reality show, her Fashion Police show, her appearance on Celebrity Apprentice, her QVC line of clothes and jewelries.  She was not about to stop anytime soon.

And what saddened me deeply is that she was a survivor.  After watching the documentary "Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work," you would come to realize this woman did not have an easy life.  There were many heartbreaks along the way - from Johnny Carson turning his back on her to her husband's suicide.  Her career had certainly seen its ebbs and flows.  But she survived it all.  She was a tough cookie.  Her best defense was her sense of humor.  You gotta laugh at life, at other people, and most important at yourself.  She was going to make it through the wilderness, come hell or high water.  And here she was, at 81, better and busier than ever.

Yet, someone who is that strong, with that much life force, can be taken from this world with a stupid, nonsensical botched medical procedure.  She didn't deserve that.  She deserved a way better second act (or third or fourth or fifth act).

Yesterday night, I was listening to one of her comedy albums, borrowed from Hoopla.  There was a bit in her routine about how she hated certain groups of people - including blind people.  She hated blind people because they are so selfish.  "When was the last time a blind person asked you how you were???  Or complimented you on how you look?"  It was dark.  I was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep.  And I laughed out loud.  It was so wrong, but somehow kinda true.  She went on to make fun of Chinese people, fat people, old people, lesbians, ugly people, ugly children, Anne Frank, etc.  I kinda loved it, not because I find humor in being mean-spirited.  But I loved it because she went there, crossed the line, and just spat in the face of political correctness.  Of course she didn't really dislike blind people and children and all that.  But she was like, who the hell cares?  She would bark, "Oh, grow up!"  That's right, grow up and develop a tough skin.  That's how you survive.

Another bit:  She told of how she lost her family at Auschwitz.  They were on the other tour bus and never showed up, and she was waiting for them at the gift shop. 

Godspeed, Joan Rivers.

awesome randomness volume 55

Joan Rivers is in a medically induced coma because she unexpectedly went into cardiac and respiratory arrest during an outpatient throat operation.  I wish her all the best cuz I really like her.  When I was in NYC last, I actually saw her getting into a limo right outside of Good Morning America studio.  She looked just like she did on tv..ISIS (the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) has just decapitated its second American journalist captive, Steven Sotloff, following James Foley two weeks ago...This weekend was Labor Day weekend, but somebody was busy at work leaking nudie pics of many female celebs, including Jennifer Lawrence.  Apparently the pics came from hacked iCloud accounts.  Katniss Everdeen needs to find the culprits and destroy them...I am way too paranoid and self-conscious to take nude selfies.  And besides if I ever take nude selfies, it would raise the age-old question of "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it..."...Haruki Murakami has another book coming out in the US this December.  It's called Strange Library, and it's only 98 pages long.  Regardless I will eat this stuff up.  I am actually listening to his memoir as a runner on audiobook right now.  It's borrowed on my library account using the Hoopla app.  I am not a fan of listening to books on audio (doesn't that go against the whole idea of reading books?), but it's free, so I am giving it a shot...I also started writing again yesterday.  It was Labor Day after all.  I am picking back up on this story I am working on.  Problem is, unlike Haruki Murakami, I don't think I have a good story in me.  I have random ideas and thoughts and have written passages that I think are quite readable, but I am not certain that I have a fully formed story inside of me waiting to be told.  But then it's a discipline.  I am going to keep trying and practicing.  Hard work is 90% of everything...Rumors are coming fast and furious on Madonna's new songs.  And they sound...juvenile.  She's got a song called Bitch, I Am Madonna that puts down her ex-lover's bedroom skills and bank account, and then another one called Two Steps Behind targeted at her wannabes like Gaga.  I dunno - none of this sounds very relatable.  Music, like most art, is mostly about connecting, and I just cannot imagine myself having any connection to this type of songs.  The thing is though, she won't ever lose me.  I am here for good as a fan.  I might not be enthusiastic about every project but I want everything to do well.  It's just that, I want so badly to LOVE the next Madonna album, like love it like I did Ray Of Light or Like A Prayer...Marisa Tomei and Hugh Grant have a new romcom coming out called The Rewrite, about a has-been, arrogant Oscar-winning screenwriter who now has to teach at a community college to make a living and then ends up falling for an adult student.  But come on, who wouldn't fall for Marisa Tomei?  She also has a supporting role in the new movie Love Is Strange, about an older gay couple who has to move into separate living quarters due to matters of practicality.  Marisa Tomei is one of the relatives that John Lithgow's character moves in with.  The movie is getting raves, and there is even some talk of her getting an Oscar supporting actress nod.  I say, talk louder!  Give her an Oscar every year, and I would be fine with that...I am very ashamed to have been watching Bachelor In Paradise but very proud to have been watching So You Think You Can Dance.  I cannot wait for the new fall season to start.  I still remember when I was a little kid, at the beginning of every new fall tv season, I would run off to Walgreen's to buy the Fall TV Preview issue of TV Guide.  Do they even sell TV Guide anymore?  Ah, nostalgia...Speaking of which, I just bought the Awesome Mix Volume One from Guardians Of The Galaxy.  I wish I could have this in cassette format and listen to it on my Walkman.         

le mal du pays

Yesterday night I woke up at around 3am.  My sleep pattern has been the craps lately.  I would fall asleep early while watching tv and then wake up in the middle of the night.  I also have been sweating profusely in the night and waking up with my shirt soaked.  This is pretty abnormal for me, or at least abnormal in the past.  Then I spend the remaining hours trying to fall back asleep before my alarm sounds and I have to drag myself up to go to work.  I am not sure what's going on.  But the result is, I am pretty much a zombie throughout the day.  Listless, detached, agitated with the world.  Well maybe my bad sleep habit has nothing to do with my being any of those things, but it doesn't help.  

Well yesterday night, my trying to fall back asleep was interrupted by what turned out to be the biggest earthquake we had in the Bay Area since Loma Prieta in 1989.  It was a 6.0 near Napa.  More than anything, it felt long, as if it would go on forever.  That's the worst part of going through an earthquake.  Every fraction of a second feels like forever, and your mind and heart are racing.  You just keep thinking, are the jolts going to get more violent or subside?  Yesterday night, I immediately leaped out of bed and stood in my bedroom doorway.  I still have no idea if that's what I am supposed to do.  (Actually I just looked it up; it's not the right thing to do.)

The 6.0 quake looks to have caused pretty significant damages to buildings in Napa and sent 120 people to the hospital with mostly minor injuries.

***

Yesterday was also the debut of Peter Capaldi as the 12th Doctor.  I was disappointed in the episode Deep Breath.  I was confused and actually bored.  It was partly due to my missing Matt Smith but more due to the writing.  I really didn't follow most of what was going on.  Sometimes that happens and I just go with the ride, but with Deep Breath, I was instead tuned out and became disinterested.  Even the appearance of Vastra, Jenny, and Strax (I love those three) didn't help.  As for Capaldi, I don't know - I will hold out judgment.  I love Matt Smith's Doctor because he was both an old man and a young child.  I love the quirkiness.  Capaldi will be completely different obviously.  But good different or bad different?

***

I've been complaining about my iPhone battery life.  On Friday Apple finally did the right thing and acknowledged that it's a widespread problem and is offering a battery replacement program for phones bought during a particular timeframe.  I immediately made an appt at the Genius Bar (I hate that name), and handed over my phone for repair.  I should have my regular phone in about 10 days.  Right now I am using a loaner phone.

***

So happy that Guardians Of The Galaxy is back up at number one this weekend.  It's a great movie.  


***

Robin Williams aka Mork from Ork has committed suicide.  He apparently suffered from depression and was in the early stage of Parkinson's.  Life is full of demons, ain't it?  Incidents like this always remind me of John Irving's quote from Hotel New Hampshire:  "Keep passing the open windows." 

***

Lauren Bacall also passed a few days after - of a stroke.  Interesting trivia - with her passing, all 16 of the icons name-checked in Madonna's Vogue have now died.

***

I finished Haruki Murakami's Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki And His Years Of Pilgrimage a few days ago.  I think it took me about six days, which is record time for me because I am an extremely slow reader.  (I really think I have ADD.)  It's a breezy read, unlike 1Q84 which took me close to a year to get through.  (1Q84 had its magical moments, but then it was looong.) There are a lot of things about Tsukuru that I could relate to - being abandoned abruptly by people whom you feel close to and need, those feelings of not knowing what you offer to other people.  My favorite part is probably the story told by Tsukuru's friend Haida, of his father and his encounter with a pianist with death tokens.  Central to Tsukuru's story is a classical piano composition by Franz Liszt - Le mal du pays.  Haida describes le mal du pays as "homesickness, or melancholy, or a groundless sadness called forth in a person's heart by a pastoral landscape."  I think I suffer from le mal du pays even when I am home.

hooked on a feeling

I want to declare my love for Guardians of the Galaxy.  It's just pure joy and weirdness - a comic book movie packed with a rocket-toting raccoon, a talking tree who repeatedly says "I am Groot," a giant brute who takes things too literally and has no use for metaphors, awesome mixtapes, Kirk AND Mitchum Huntzberger from Gilmore Girls, Amelia Pond, Uhura from Star Trek aka Neytiri from Avatar, and a Footloose reference.  It's the Marvel movie I wished Joss Whedon's Avengers was.  It's funny, action-packed, and yeah even touching at parts.  And who wouldn't love Chris Pratt after this?  He came to play with his charisma and charm on full throttle.  Star-Lord had me from his first scene, making like Indiana Jones and stealing a mystic orb but with dancing.  I think all superheroes should dance from now on.  Chris Pratt deserves all the success and the attention he's been getting.  I am so ready to see him onscreen again, whether it is GOTG 2 or Jurassic World.  Plus he has a pretty awesome wife in Anna Faris too.

Guardians of the Galaxy - it's my favorite of the summer.  All summer movies should make you this happy.  A

          

colorless tsukuru

This is a trailer for the upcoming release of Haruki Murakami's Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage. It's beautiful.



I preordered both the US version and the UK version. I got the UK version just for the sticker sheets. Marketing scheme gets me everytime.

seasons

People change, even though some people never do
You know when people change
They gain a piece but they lose one too

yesterday is two days before tomorrow

Random thoughts this Sunday -

-  I am unhappy with the way the stairs dry rot repair went.  Contractors are just awful.
-  Snowpiercer is the best movie I've seen so far this year.
-  My orange mushroom shower BT speaker died when I dropped it in the shower.  I bought a different model off eBay.  Hope it works.
-  I love the grilled vegetable Vietnamese Banh Mi sandwich from Cafe Bunn Mi.
-  The new Marc Jacob glasses I got from my optometrist are actually pretty cheaply made, worse than the free glasses I got from Coastal.com.
-  I hope the fog goes away by September when I am scheduled to have the house painted.
-  I made cheesecake cupcakes again, but instead of vanilla wafers as the bottom, I used pecan shortbread cookies.  Yum.
-  I love the new Tardis toy I got.  The top lights up, except I took the battery out cuz I don't want it to corrode over time.
-  The batteries in my Apple BT keyboard corroded, and I cannot open the battery compartment.  There goes $60.
-  I honestly am not sure how I can continue to work in my office.  It's so painful to go to work everyday and deal with those people.  So fake.
-  The oats & honey & toasted coconut Kind granola bars are delicious.
-  Japanese washi tapes are cool.  I declare.
-  I think I need at least $2M in assets before I retire.  So short of winning the lottery, how do I make that happen?
-  Chris Pratt is awesome.  So happy for his success.
-  I wish Sandra Bullock and Chris Evans were really dating.  She should be dating a good guy, and he is Captain America for god's sake.
-  Not sure how I feel about Ryan Gosling/Eva Mendez baby, not that they are asking.
-  Future Islands' Seasons is a really good song.
-  So how awesome would it be if Madonna's upcoming album becomes a major comeback?  I need this to happen.  I keep waiting for this to happen. 
-  I really am not liking my hair lately.  Why does hair behave so moodily?
-  Avocado makes everything better.
-  I want a tiny house.
-  I should wash my cars.
-  I love Haruki Murakami's New Yorker short story - Yesterday.  It made me all melancholy and nostalgic.  The way people come in your life and then just disappear.

my summer list

Movies I am looking forward to seeing:

-  Richard Linklater's Boyhood (Linklater, coming of age story - I am so on board)
-  Snowpiercer
-  Guardians of the Galaxy (Chris Pratt!)
-  Begin Again (why did they change the title from the much superior Can A Song Save Your Life? - damn studio marketing!)

Tv shows I am enjoying this summer:
-  Almost Royal (it's like Borat but with two fake British royal siblings)
-  SYTYCD (still my favorite reality competition show aside from Amazing Race)

Books I am hoping to read:
-  The Gold Finch
-  Murakami's Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Year of Pilgrimage
-  Neil Gaiman's The Truth Is a Cave in the Black Mountains

Music that are doing it for me right now:
-  Sam Smith's In The Lonely Hour
-  Chromeo's White Women
-  Keira Knightley's songs from Begin Again soundtrack
-  Future Islands' "Seasons"
-  Robyn & Royksopp's Do It Again ep
-  Coldplay & Cat Power's song Wish I Was Here

wish i was here

I am so obsessed with this song right now. I wish Coldplay had kept the song for themselves and included it on Ghost Stories.

in the lonely music hour

10. All Of The Stars - Ed Sheeran
9. West Coast - Lana Del Rey
8. Midnight (Giorgio Moroder Remix) - Coldplay
7. How Will I Know (Live on SiriusXM) - Sam Smith
6. Let Me Down Gently - La Roux
5. Monument - Royksopp & Robyn
4. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Arctic Monkeys
3. Love Runs Out - OneRepublic
2. Do It Again - Royksopp & Robyn
1. Stay With Me - Sam Smith

It looks like Sam Smith's In The Lonely Hour will debut in the U.S. at number one this week.  So happy for Sam Smith success story.  He's the female Adele.  And then how delightful to have return of Robyn and La Roux.  (I can imagine Monument to be a Madonna song, in my perfect world.  But it's a Robyn song, so that's sweet too.)  Toss in Coldplay back in form and OneRepublic/Ryan Tedder continuing to crank out catchy pop songs, and we have a nice top ten for the last week of June.

three is a magic number

California Chrome fails to win the Triple Crown today.  Favorite things in three:

-  LOTR trilogy (best trilogy ever, through and through)
-  Three's Company
-  Bananarama
-  Infernal Affairs trilogy
-  Charlie's Angels
-  Bourne trilogy (yeah that one with Jeremy Renner doesn't count)
-  Before Sunrise trilogy (honest opinion - Before Midnight did deflat my love for Celine and Jesse a tad)
-  threesomes
-  Dark Knight trilogy
-  Toy Story trilogy
-  Heathers
-  God, Jesus, Holy Sprit
-  Bee Gees
-  Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger
-  tricycles (cuz I am hopeless on a bicycle)
-  Beastie Boys (sadly three no longer - sigh...)

hard work

SYTYCD is probably the only reality show that can move me.  I look at some of those kids and their back stories, the adversity that they had to overcome, the hard work that they put in to hone their craft, to become somebody, and it's honestly inspiring.  It makes me want to get up off the couch (or more accurately out from under the blanket on my bed) and do something, do anything.

All the troubles I've been having with my house falling apart this past month have also made me realize that I've been neglecting things for way too long.  The house should have been painted at least two years earlier.  I should have paid more attention to things.  Maintenance is key to home ownership.  If you let things go, they catch up with you, and things snowball.  And before you know it, you are knee deep in a money pit.

I think it's just like life.  You cannot just sit around and not pay attention.  You have to get yourself up and do things.  If you want something, work towards it.  If you have an hour free, clean the house, work out, practice your craft, do some honest good labor.  Don't just lounge around because time will just steamroll over you and your dreams.

So this is my resolution.  That I will from this point on, do things.  Little things, big things.  Just be productive.  It's going to make a difference.  

robyn does it again

Robyn pretty much kicks ass.  Her new ep with Royksopp is ace.  Here is the single:

time in a bottle

Weather:  Cloudy today out in the Avenues
Mood:  Worried
Music:  Sam Smith and new Robyn EP
Last Movie: The Spectacular Now (A-)
Reading: About to start Wind Up Bird Chronicle
Last Pleasure:  Vegetarian Vietnamese sandwich from Cafe Bunn Mi  on Clement
Last Worry: How much dry rot/leaks in the house would set me back
Last accomplishment:  Took down blinds from my bedroom - long overdue
Looking Forward To:  When repair and paint job on house are done (which would be a longs way away since I haven't even found contractors to do either)
Not Really Looking Forward To:  Empty bank account
Gas Price: $4.299/gallon regular
Clothes:  Old Navy's blue fleece sweatshirt, black sweatpants (seems to be my uniform lately - so sad)
Today's Headline:  Republicans question U.S. prisoner swap with Taliban
Last Website Visited:  tonykarenkitchen.blogspot.com
Last Meal: Turkey burger with avocado
Last Purchase:  Dove's Men+Care shampoo
Item On My Wishlist:  Twin Peaks The Entire Mystery (finally coming to blu ray)
Latest Evidence It's A Beautiful World:  That Quicksilver sequence in X-Men Days Of Future Past (probably best scene I've seen in a movie in a long, long time)

feels like we only go backwards

More bad news:

-  Over 200 Nigerian school girls were kidnapped three weeks ago by the militant Islamist group Boko Haram.  Boko Haram?  That sounds like the name of a restaurant or a Star Wars character. 

-  The Ukraine eastern region continues to fall closer and closer to civil war.  Nice job, Putin.

-  The back staircase of my house has dry rot.  Yup, same staircase repaired ten years ago.

-  The Cowboys were eliminated from Amazing Race last Sunday, after being u-turned by the Afghanimals.  Damn you, Afghanimals!

-  My cholesterol is back up to 230.  Am I condemned to a life of tasteless oatmeals?

This is seriously pissing me off.  Life, you best back off now, or else I am gonna fight back.


 

bad day, redux

Alright, seriously this has to stop.  I had a painting contractor appointment this week.  When I greeted him outside, he asked me, "Are you having problems with your neighbor?"  I was like, "No, why?"  Apparently before I came downstairs, he was looking at the front of my house and walked up my neighbor's driveway to get a better look at the side of my place.  My neighbor then yelled at him, saying he has no permission to walk on the driveway.  I was surprised at that, since 1) people walk up the driveway of houses all the time - mailman, people delivering flyers, Jehovah's Witnesses - what's the big freaking deal?  2) there's never been any issue with the neighbor in the past.  After the appointment, I went and knocked on my neighbor's door to try to smooth things over and apologize, even if there was really nothing to apologize for.  But then he just came charging out of his door, and without even greeting me, launched into a tirade.  He said the last time we painted, the painter got paint all over his wall and his car, and he had to spend over $100 to get his car rebuffed.  He pointed to a house up the block that is being painted and said, "You see the netting that they have around the house - that's how you should paint."  Then he said he now has solar panels on the roof, and if we damage that, it's at least $20,000 a panel.  I was completely dumbfounded.  The last time we painted was a decade ago, and he did not say anything about paint getting on his house or car back then.  In fact, I recall he commented on how that painter was doing a better job scraping loose paint than the previous painter we used, which was when we first moved in.  It doesn't make sense that he would have commented on scraping but not have said anything about his wall or car.  And he was so angry about the whole thing, like he wanted to fight or something.  And was that a veiled threat about the solar panels?  He was being a class-A jerk.  He could have nicely asked me to be extra careful because of the solar panels without bring things up a decade ago which may or may not have happened.  And there definitely was no need to take anything out on the poor painter who just came to give me an estimate.  Obviously this all stewed with me and messed up my last two days.

See - when you have a bad day and pass that on to other people, you make other people have a bad day, and that just gets passed on and on.  Before you know it, you have a Kim Jong Un or a Hitler or a Columbine.  People, please don't do that.  Make a world a better place instead of a worse one.  Spread kindness and not hate or anger.  

Oh something else that happened - I had a dental cleaning appointment yesterday.  When they took some x-rays, they didn't put the lead apron on me til half way through.  I didn't even notice that I didn't have the apron on til the lady grabbed it and put it on me after she took four x-rays already.  I was thinking, "Uh..."  I didn't say anything cuz I wasn't sure if that was the procedure - maybe the earlier x-rays didn't need the apron?  I came home and then texted a friend who also goes to the same dentist and was told that they normally put on the apron for all the x-rays.  So yeah, I am so screwed.  I am going to die of radiation now.  Maybe if that's the case, I should just forget about painting the house and let everything fall to pieces.  Take that, angry, bitter neighbor!      

the sewol

I haven't said anything about the South Korean ferry tragedy.  On April 16, a ferry traveling from Incheon to Jeju, capsized.  There were 425 people on board the Sewol, 325 of which were students on a field trip from Danwon High School in Asnan (a city south of Seoul).  To date, there are 236 confirmed dead and 66 still missing.  That's a lot of young lives cut short, dreams and hopes extinguished, and families destroyed.  A six year old girl was rescued but her entire family was gone.  A vice principle of Danwon did survive but committed suicide after because he felt responsible for the deaths of all the students who were under his watch.  The captain and his crew, who all got off the ferry, have been arrested for abandonment.  Videos recorded by some students during the capsizing are now being released, and it's making the tragedy all the more heartbreaking.    Between this and the Malaysian MH370, sometimes you just want to keep yourself and all your loved ones locked up at home.  My sympathy goes out to all the lives affected.     

a chance is all you need

The past couple of weeks have been terrible.  My Honda's brake pedal went soft on me.  It turned out to be some master cylinder problem that cost me $200.  My refrigerator went dead on me Friday.  Repair guy is not coming til Monday.  I googled and think it's a fuse problem and likely repair will be to replace the entire control board.  I ran into trouble trying to return a couple of unopened, unworn HeatTech tees to Uniqlo (they are supposedly non-returnable "inner wear" items) and stood there for five minutes arguing with the sales clerk til she gave in.  My iPhone battery is acting really wonkers.  I got into a thing with one of my coworkers, who's been annoying the hell out of me with her overbearing inquisition.  I have a work project that is huge and complicated and problematic and is making my stomach queasy.  I have another presentation to do this coming Thursday, and that is making my stomacch even queasier.  My boss is asking me to train a new employee who is coming on board in a few weeks, but I think it's a waste of time because his resume clearly shows he is not a good fit for our group.  I asked her why we are picking this person up, and she gave me this look and said, "We have no choice, so let's leave it at that."  I have been waiting for over two months for my insurance to authorize a new type of orthotics for me.  And I have been waiting for my order of new glasses to arrive for more than two weeks, and yesterday afternoon, my doc called and said they arrived but there was some quality control issues so they had to send them back for a re-do.  I know these aren't necessarily world-class tragedies, but when you add them all up, they just make your life feel out of sorts.  I really just haven't been in sync lately.  I really think the moons must be misaligned or something.  Can I get out of this cycle already?

But I need to be optimistic.  The good thing is, every day you wake up, you get a chance to make things better, or new good things can happen. Sure, it's not likely going to be the case, cuz you don't just wake up a new person in the morning.  But still, it's a chance, and a chance is all you need.  Just like the lottery.

So how about some American Authors:

conscious uncouple

Random thoughts this Sunday:  I know I am not supposed to cheer on a divorce, but I cannot help but think I might get my old Coldplay back now that Chris Martin has consciously uncoupled from that pretentious, haughtier-than-thou Gwyneth Paltrow.  I want back that old English chap who writes lovelorn, starry-eyed songs about shivering, troubles, spies, and the color yellow.  While he's at it, I hope he would now stop hanging with Beyonce and Jay-Z and let Gwyneth inherit them as her friends.  I seriously hate it whenever scrappy, upstart British artists get contaminated by fancy American celebrities.  Yes, I am also talking about Ed Sheeran becoming besties with Taylor Swift and now working with Pharrell...Amazing Race All Star season is really awesome, probably the best in a long time.  I am rooting hard for Cowboys and Dave/Connor father-son team.  And I surprisingly enjoy Brendon and Rachel this season - her dramatics is actually more endearing and amusing than annoying.  I still find the Afghanimals extremely unbearable, and the blonde country singers vacant and boring...I have an aunt who has been in a nursing home since she had a fall in her home in December.  That place is hell of depressing.  She does nothing all day long except sit or lie in bed.  I tell you, getting old sucks.  Add this to my growing list of things I fear - rotting away in a nursing home when I get old...I did well in the month of March controlling my spending.  I only spent about $11 on clothes (on a couple of Old Navy's sweatshirts) and didn't buy any blu rays or cds at all.  I hardly ate out, except for workday lunches...Yesterday I sprayed weed killers in the backyard, pruned a couple of trees, trashed a pile of old magazines, made scones, and pickled some vegetables that would otherwise go bad.  I am so domesticated...The Desolation of Smaug blu ray came out on Tuesday.  I didn't even buy An Unexpected Journey because I was waiting for all three Hobbit movies to come out together in an extended edition set.  But Target has a limited edition of Smaug where they are including a collector's Legolas Lego toy.  I want that so bad.  What to do?...Madonna is in the studio with Natalie Kills.  And she was working with Avicii a few weeks back.  From what I've heard from Natalie Kills and Avicii, I haven't been impressed.  So here's hoping working with Madonna brings out the best they've got.  I seriously don't want another Hard Candy.  I do like the sound of "Rebel Heart," a hashtag she's been hyping on instagram and is likely the name of the upcoming album...I submitted something to Buzzfeed for Madonna's #artforfreedom initiative.  She is supposedly doing a live curating in a few days.  Do you think she will see my work?...I've had a headache all week long.  The tension is behind my right eye and at the back right side of my neck.  I need to get healthy.  I am always feeling tired.  My number one goal for this next week - stop falling asleep right after dinner and then waking up at 2am with all the lights and tv on...I've changed my mind about Harry Connick Jr on American Idol - I now cannot stand him.  He was so funny during the auditions, but now with the live shows, he is actually annoying and way too self-indulgent.  It's the exact same thing that happened with Nicki Minaj.  I liked her initially too but that went downhill really fast...I am happy that Captain America The Winter Soldier is getting rave reviews.  He is worth rooting for...David Letterman is retiring next year.  I saw him when I was in NYC.  They made the audience practice laughing.  So lame...I heard that Kim Jong Un is going to make every N Korean male get the same haircut as his.  Actually I kind of get it.  Korean actors have the ugliest girly haircuts.  If I were a dictator, I would make them stop too.  But then I wouldn't make them have my haircut.  I would maybe pick like Ryan Gosling or someone like that...Can someone please stop (repressed homosexual) Putin from invading western Ukraine?  Is he trying to get back the entire Soviet Union?  Wasn't winning Olympic figure skating gold enough?  Maybe if they had won hockey gold, we wouldn't be here...The news was full of other craziness this past week - there was a car that crashed into a daycare center in Florida, there was a teenager who went on a stabbing rampage in a Pennsylvania, and then there was a FedEx truck that lost control on Highway Five up in Orland, CA, and crashed into a tour bus full of high school students.  If anything, the nightly news is a daily reminder of the unpredictability of life.  Every victim of these incidents did not wake up that day thinking something would happen to them.  Therefore, we should all go to bed every night being grateful that we and our family made it safely through another day...In fact, with that in mind, I shall try to let go of all the work craziness and drama going on right now.  People get too drunk on power, even if it's power over very little.  It's not like we are fighting for Middle Earth or something.  Regardless, a change is gonna come, but I shall ride it out with the zen of a surfer on a gnarly wave.  It's all good, even when it's not...Chi Young got a fellowship award for his first semester at NUIG.  Good on him.  He is gnarly and awesome...The drawing above is an illustration I did for Yvonne and Ricky's church.  They have a summer bible camp, and the theme is the Prodigal Son.  Ricky asked me as a favor to do a thing for the pamphlet.  Trust me - good or bad, that drawing did not come easy.  Let's just say churches are very particular when it comes to drawings on zeroxed pamphlets that will be handed out to tens of people, even when they are getting it free from an amateur artist who was doing this after a long tired day at work..Alrighty, I gotta go make some mini cheesecakes for a work function Tuesday.  So I shall consciously uncouple from writing this post and say my goodbye.  Have a good week, my fair reader(s).

unsolved mysteries

I am scared of flying.  More so with each flight.  And yes, I know the more I acknowledge this, the more it becomes a self-fulfilling thing.  Fear feeds on fear.  It's really just one big mindfuck.

So I really don't want to think too much about Malaysian Fight MH370.  Yet I cannot help but be fascinated by the mystery.  I know it's a tragedy first and a mystery second.  But what a mystery it is.  How does a big passenger jet with 200+ people on board just disappear without a trace?  And how and why would it stray from its course across the South China Sea from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing and end up somewhere in the South Indian Ocean, southwest of Perth, as it is now suspected?  Was it just coincidence that two of the passengers - Iranians - were traveling with fake passports?  Is it a common occurrence to have people with fake passports on flights?  Is it a mechanical/electrical failure?  A hijacking?  A suicide mission by the pilot/co-pilot?  And then there is the race against time to find the wreckage and the black box, the battery of which is supposed to only last a few more days now.  Yup, throw in the smoke monster and you have a tv show.

I am also scared of haunted hotels.  Everytime I stay in a hotel, especially if I am on my own, I kind of get creeped out.  I never, never turn off the lights or the tv.  I always imagine all the violent murders that might have taken place and all the ghosts roaming around looking for whatever ghosts look for.  Would I find a corpse under the mattress, or hear mysterious whispering in the hallway, or get pulled under the water in the tub?  So today, when I heard of the case of Elisa Lam and the Cecil Hotel, I had chills run all over my body.  Apparently the Cecil Hotel, in downtown L.A., near Skid Row, is rather notorious.  Before the Elisa Lam case in 2013, the hotel already had its share of violence and murderers.  It was home to the Night Stalker Richard Ramirez (who still freaks me out because he was a serial killer who had committed murders in the neighborhood where I went to school back in the day) and Jack Unterweger, another infamous serial killer.  The hotel was also the site of a number of suicides and the unsolved rape/murder in the 1960's of a woman named as "Pigeon Goldie" Osgood, who was known as the protector of pigeons in the neighborhood.  Elisa Lam, a Chinese Canadian who was traveling alone, somehow ended up staying at the Cecil Hotel in January 2013.  She disappeared, and her corpse was found a couple of weeks later in one of the water tanks on the roof, after hotel guests complained of low water pressure.  Can you even imagine having consumed water from the tank where her corpse was immersed for two weeks?  What makes the Elisa Lam case that much more creepy is released surveillance video showing her acting rather strangely in the elevator right before her disappearance.  She was either on drugs or was possessed.  She went into the elevator, pushed multiple buttons, and proceeded to act like she was hiding from someone.  She then peeked out of the elevator and at a certain point made really creepy gestures with her hands.  All I have to say is, I wouldn't watch this video alone at night.  You want to know how scared I am?  I am too scared to even link the video here.  The case was officially ruled accidental drowning, but who are we kidding?

Anyways, these days, everytime I get a news alert on my iPhone, I hope to see some breakthrough on the MH370 case, that they've found the wreckage.  Any real lead or progress, for the sake of the families for which this must be pure torture, and for us conspiracy theorists.  Until then, I will sleep a little less easy thinking that there are these unsolved mysteries out there, hanging about like...a long haired Japanese girl, in a white dress, cowering in the corner of the elevator.

team piz

Yup, count me in for Team Piz!  I know, everyone is supposed to be on the side of LoVe (Logan + Veronica), but not me.  I think Piz is totally the right choice for Veronica - he's a totally awesome guy.  He jumps in to help Logan in a brawl.  He loves Veronica.  He is understanding.  He gets along with her friends.  He dances like a madman.  He has a nice career.  He is good looking.  And the bit where, when Veronica fails to show up to meet his parents, he says, "I have to go let my mother off the hook. She’s very concerned that her blow-out is going to flatten before you get here."  Come on!

So that's about the only gripe I have - a girl that smart should have made the right choice and not go for the brooding bad boy who is always so full of drama. Otherwise, it's so nice to be back in Neptune to revisit with Veronica and the gang.  Everything is so warm and familiar.  And I still smile at all her smart ass quips.  Kristin Bell is born to play this character.  I hope she gets to do it again.  But not without Piz.  A-

i swear i lived

Top ten songs I am listening to right now:

10. Blue Moon - Beck
9. Team - Lorde
8. Can't Be Broken - Twin Forks (it's Dashboard Confessional!)
7. Love Me Like I'm Made Of Stone - Lykke Li (welcome back, Lykke Li!!!)
6. Burn - Ellie Goulding (cowritten by Ryan Tedder)
5. Believer - American Author
4. All Of Me - John Legend (the line "All of me loves all of you" totally works)
3. Magic - Coldplay (first Coldplay song I've liked in a while)
2. Gold - James Vincent McMorrow (thanks Estherrr)
1. I Lived - OneRepublic

I loved the lyrics to OneRepublic's I Lived so much.  They totally should have had this as Olympics' theme song:

Hope when you take that jump,
You don't feel the fall.
Hope when the water rises,
You built a wall.

Hope when the crowd screams out
It's screaming your name
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay

Hope that you fall in love
And it hurts so bad
The only way you can know
Is give it all you have

And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
Hope when the moment comes, you'll say

I..... I did it all
I..... I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, worth every broken bone
I swear I lived

Hope that you spend your days
But they all add up
And when that sun goes down
Hope you raise your cup
Oh, oh

I wish that I could witness
All your joy
And all your pain
But until my moment comes
I'll say

I....I did it all
I....I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah worth every broken bone
I swear I lived

Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh (x4)

Worth every broken bone
I swear I lived
Worth every broken bone
I swear I

I....I did it all
I....I did it all

I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah worth every broken bone
I swear I lived

Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh (x2)
I swear I lived
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh (x2)

i am a marshmallow

We sprung forward by an hour this morning.  That means more light in the evening, which is a good thing.  I still don't understand why we need to do that thing where we have less daylight during the winter months.  I don't know anybody who likes that.  Maybe except for vampires, but then I don't really know any vampires, and vampires shouldn't really get a say in the matter.

With spring comes renewed optimism and anticipation.  And the thing I am most excited about at this very minute is the Veronica Mars movie, which premiered at SXSW yesterday and will open next Friday!!!  I am a Kickstarter backer, and a Marshmallow through and through.  I am so happy to see this come to fruition. 

selfie with a z

What a good-natured Oscar!  I am sure even John Travolta and Adela Dazeem had an awesome time.

This selfie is epic.  Lupita's brother photobombing only adds to the epic-ness:


And then this is the back view.  Omigod - that's Liza with a Z in the dark blue trying to get in on the action!!!  Alas poor Liza had no chance:


This pairing - holy moly, that's a gene pool lottery right there:
 

This is adorable-ness overkill:


My runner-up for Best Dressed:


But Lupita is everything yesterday - she wins Best Dressed and everything else:

marketel owongo

46 pre-Oscar thoughts this Sunday morn:

1. Lupita Nyong'o is a fashion goddess.  She's been hitting it out of the ballpark this entire Oscar season.  I cannot wait to see what she's got up her cape for the finale.  I also predict she will win Best Supporting Actress.  Jordan Catalano will win Best Supporting Actor.
2. Cate Blanchett is supposed to be a lock for Best Actress, so no need for to play Sylvia Brown there.  Matthew "Alright Alright Alright" McConaughey will likely win Best Actor.  I prefer Leo of course. 
3. 12 Years A Slave shall win Best Picture.  Alfonso Cuaron Best Director.  Yay for Alfonso Cuaron.  He had me at Children Of Men and Y Tu Mama Tambien.
4. Frozen will win Best Animated, and Let It Go Best Song.
5. 12 Years A Slave Best Adapted Screenplay, and Her Best Original Screenplay.  
6. I interrupt this superficial post with a thought on the Ukraine situation - F.U. Putin. Does this mean we get Russian bad guys again in James Bond movies?  (Wait, did I just make that superficial in about a nano-second?)
7. Oh why is there no news coverage on the knife massacre in China that killed over 30 people on American tv?  Not a single peep.
8. Anyways, Julie Delpy just did a rant against the Oscars in a magazine article.  Dang it - I did wish one day she would win an Oscar for the Before series.  Did she just blow her chances?  She might not care, but I do.
9. I think my favorite Oscar was when Return Of The King won all kinds of awards including Best Picture.  It was a joyous day in Middle Earth.
10. Crash winning Best Picture was a sad day.
11. I predict the mags are going to go gaga over whatever Angelina Jolie would be wearing.  It almost doesn't matter.  It's like Beyonce.  People are just eating that shit up.  Ugh.
12. Favorite Oscar dress, just from memory, might be Nicole Kidman in that yellow-green Dior in 97, or Penelope Cruz in featherly Atelier Versace in 2007 (I had to look those up - I didn't know designer or year by heart).
13. Amy Adams should play Tonya Harding in a movie.  I just realize from watching the Winter Olympics special how much they resemble each other.
14. The 2014 Winters Olympics in Sochi was exceptionally boring as a tv event.  There was no real compelling story that came out of it.
15. It's raining here.  Is it raining in L.A.?  Is the red carpet all soaked?
16. Speaking of Oscar fashion (or not), I just bought a few Uniqlo jackets online for super cheap (one of the Ultra Light down jacket was only $20).  I bought it to see whether my mom could use them.  If not, I'll just return them.
17. I also just ordered a pair of Gap jeans I don't need.  Uh oh - I was doing so good, but I am now the Phillip Seymour Hoffman of online shopping (too soon?).
18. And speaking of the accountants that are guarding the Oscar results with their dear life (this might be the only reason I would want to work for an accounting firm), I just finished my taxes. 
19. I should go rent Captain Phillips.  I think I will like it.
20. I also think I would like 12 Years and Her, but I have zero interest in American Hustle and Dallas Buyers Club.
21. It's funny that I was a huge David O' Russell fan back in the day.  Flirting With Disaster and Three Kings!  But yet, since yet I have no interest in the movies that are finally getting him the attention from the public and the Oscars (Silver Linings, American Hustle).
22. I like Jennifer Lawrence with Nicholas Hoult.
23. I don't like Charlize Theron with Sean Penn.  I am conflicted about Madonna and Sean Penn - he was abusive, yet there is something very fated about them two.
24. Madonna has been hosting some private Oscar after party for the past few years.  They don't allow press in, so you never see pictures.  But how could we not see pictures with Instagram and Twitter?
25. The Twitter office near my office is really going to spruce up the neighborhood.  They are going to bring in the businesses who want those Twitter employees' money. 
26. I feel really jacked up right now from the coffee I just drank.  But condensed milk - mmm.
27. I also ate an egg sandwich.  I wonder what Lupita is eating for breakfast this morning.
28. I am going to make hot and sour soup tonight.   
29. I have never worn a tuxedo.  But if I were to go to the Oscars, I would go with something navy blue.
30. I am sure I will switch from the Oscars to The Amazing Race tonight.  I never miss The Amazing Race.
31. The Cowboys are back!  And the Twinsies were eliminated with the very first episode.  So, God does care.
32. Kristin Bell is having a good year.  New daughter.  Frozen is all the rage.  She successfully led a campaign to get celebrity gossip mags and websites to not publish photos of celebrity kids (sorry, Jayden and Willow).  And here comes Veronica Mars.
33. Veronica Mars movie is out in two weeks.  Oscars next year?  Dick Casablanca for Best Supporting Actor?  I am all over that!
34. Ellen will be an awesome host. I hope there will be plenty of dancing and singing.  Musical numbers, except when involving Rob Lowe and Snow White, rule! 
35. Worst thing about watching E! coverage of red carpet is having to watch Ryan Seacrest acting all chummy with celebrities and pretending he doesn't know anything about frilly dresses.  Where is Kathy Griffin when you need her?
36. Sam Wolfe or Majesty Rose for the win on American Idol this season. 
37. Bates Motel is back tomorrow night!  Vera Farmiga!
38. I am happy with the success of The Lego Movie.  $200M and counting.
39. Lupita and Lady Mary are in this week's number one movie Non-Stop with Liam Neeson.  
40. #2 movie this weekend is something called Son Of God.  What the hell is that?
41. Ok I just looked it up - it's a horribly reviewed Bible pic.  I thought it was a horror/serial murder movie or something.  Man, lots of people want to get their Jesus on.
42.  I am not a fan of the color gold.  But I suppose trophies should be gold.  That's a universal thing all over the world - right?  We all agree trophies should in gold.  I mean, what if we lived in a world where trophies are green or blue or red?  That would be weird.
43. Gravity is overrated, but I cannot speak ill ever of anything related to Sandra Bullock or Alfonso Cuaron.
44. The most hotly-contested Oscar race this year is in the category of Best Documentary Short.  
45. Haha - just kidding.  The only hotly-contested thing about these categories is, should I go to bathroom or grab a snack?  No disrespect, but I don't know these peeps and they usually aren't pretty or compelling with acceptance speeches.
46. If I Lupita or Chiwetel my name, it would be Marketel Owong'o.