march of the penguins

So our office is located in such a seedy neighborhood that we have this Buddy Up system, where you can pair up with a penguin to walk to the BART station. I think the way it works is this: if you are leaving the office, say at a late hour, and are scared, you would take one of these penguins, located at the lobby entrance, with you. How a penguin is going to protect you from the drug addicts and the homeless and the crazies, I don't know. Maybe when the crazies see you walking with a penguin, they would be so amused and bewildered that they would think you are just one of them and thus leave you alone. I myself would prefer a polar bear, like the armored variety from The Golden Compass.