born under a bad sign

Ok somebody just forwarded me some Chinese horoscope thingy that says I will have to be careful because the coming year will be very unlucky for me. But wait, didn't somebody tell me that last year already and I had to wear a damn crystal bracelet all year long to ward off evil (I actually fell off the wagon since October). Hmm, am I condemned to an infinite string of bad years? Was I born under a bad sign? What gives?

Per this horoscope for this new year of the Ox, while other signs get advices like "This is your lucky year" or "Control your lust" or "Beware of sexual traps" (damn, why didn't I get that?), my sign says I should cool it down at work, avoid controversy and gossip and drama, lay low; I shouldn't invest and be conservative in my spending; I will be a monk since I will be unlucky in love (as usual).

But I remain hopeful. 2010, baby! That's the year when everything starts turning around. Tom Brady will be back big time. I will be the one watching out for sexual traps (you know how those damn Eastern European swimsuit supermodels are...). Madonna will release another Ray Of Light to shut all the haters up. My 401K will skyrocket as the market rebounds. Obama would have had a full year to solve all of the world's problems.

Now only if I can get thru 2009 unscathed.