end of the decade

It just occurred to me that we are at the last month of this decade. For some reason, I thought that would be next year. I don't know why I had failed to realize that the decade started on 1/1/2000, so 12/31/2009 will indeed be the end of the decade. That's in 27 days exactly. Holy moly!

So I have 27 days to get ready. For what exactly? For a new beginning of course. Yeah, I declare the next decade to be my decade. It's the decade in which I will kick ass, become like Super Mark. I will be charming. I will be cool. I will make girls fall in love with me. I will fall in love with a girl - just one is all I need. I will be creative, like mad creative. I will learn skills, like mad skillz. I will be kind and charitable and generous with my soul and my time and my friendship. I will work hard and play nice. I will be healthy and fit, eat well, sleep well, exercise more, indulge less. I will be more courageous, extra fearless, like Taylor Swift platinum edition. Yeah, that's right. In 27 days. I will be all that and a bag of chips.

The thing is, the way I've been feeling about myself and my life, you would think I am the worst human being in the whole wide world. But I am not. I have never beaten up my popstar girlfriend, never cheated on my blonde wife/mother of my two children while I am on my golf tour around the world, never molested altar boys and then paid them off with God's money, never kidnapped a girl and hid her in a shack in my backyard and fathered two children with her, never plotted a terrorist attack, never committed genocide, never sent 30,000 troops to a war we can't win, never committed security fraud that cheated investors out of $65 billion. Nah, the worst thing I did was have a bad attitude with my mom, trash-talk about my incompetent coworkers and bosses, and wasn't always upfront with girls whom I wasn't interested in, or worse yet, with girls whom I was interested in. So why the hell do I feel so bad? Just because my dreams haven't magically come true? That the world hasn't lived up to my ideals? That life hasn't delivered me the jackpot? It's alright. That is so last decade, and this decade. But next decade, I will stop feeling bad about myself and start moving forward with being awesome. I am going to be so awesome you better wear shades when you look my way. I am gonna come out and blow 'em away like Susan Boyle. 2010 is gonna be like that.

I don't have to go to work for the rest of the year, so I am going to have a lot of free time to start practicing being awesome. I will start by watching Bruno on my new Tivo HD. Then I will pick up reading Kavalier and Clay and finish it before end of year. I will go to my cousin's wedding and shield off all the questions about why I am still single at my ripe old age and that it should be me next. I will go play with my new Nikon lens that I got for a steal during this last Black Friday. I will wear my cool new fitted plaid shirt and authentic fit cords from Gap. I am going to rock out to new songs from Hot Chip (how good are Take It In and One Life Stand?), Vampire Weekend, Shout Out Loud, mixed in with Annie, Swell Season, and Jason Mraz. Yeah, it all starts right here.