It has come to my attention that life is full of perils. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time dodging the pitfalls of life than I do just living life. Here I list some of life's perils:
- H1N1
- Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and other wraths of Mother Nature
- Golddiggers
- Backstabbing coworkers
- Jehovah's Witnesses and other religious ambushes
- Mothers (both your own and other people's...oh you love them but man, sometimes they can crush you as much as they can lift you up)
- Cancer
- Cell phone-using drivers
- Tongue-burning hot soup
- Speed traps
- Whore houses disguised as hair salons
- Jay Leno and NBC
- Insecurity (or maybe not - I don't really know. Maybe this list is really a waste of your time, or mine...)
- Cynicism
- Ladies who cut queues in Chinatown
- Girl scouts selling cookies (Don't f*cking make me feel bad for not wanting to help! I can't help it if you don't sell healthful snacks, and besides, I'd rather feed an African kid than to send you spoiled brats to summer camp.)
- Serial killers
- Catholic priests and creepy uncles and neighbors with tool sheds
- Advertisements that make you think you need things
- Love (see Mother above)
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