I woke up at 3am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I think it has to do with the financial issue that came up yesterday. It might be a good time to start investing in the lottery. Or engage in some illegal money-making activities a la Walt White. Yup, I too could be an anti-hero on a hit tv show if I am desperate/opportunistic enough. Sure, prior to this, I would never tag myself as desperate or opportunistic. In my life, I have never exhibited either of those traits. I would never beg for anything and could walk away without a fight from even the things that are dearest to me - it's both a source of pride but also a detriment (I've lost people I love this way). But you know, you push a man far enough and he can do anything, be anybody. I am going to be broke soon enough, and lord knows I've always carried around a heavy heart and enough weight on my shoulder to give me scoliosis. A broken man has great potential for the badness to seep out. He starts to see the world differently. The first stage, which I've already completed magna cum laude, is disinterest and weariness. The second stage though is you start to be fueled by anger and hate. You want to take fate into your own hands and screw the world that has been screwing you. I am not there yet, and sometimes the edge is right beneath your feet before you even know it.
Anyways, the question is, in what way should I be breaking bad? Pimping? That's a very Asian thing to do right. Lotsa secret pimping in the seemingly quiet Sunset Asian neighborhood homes. Where do they get the girls from though? I know from Asia, but how? Is there like an online place where you can place an order off the next boat? If so, I hope there is a coupon. And I need ones that are not sad. I don't like sad prostitutes - they make me really guilty. Like I would feel responsible to make them happy and worthy and self-actualized. Heck, if you give me a batch of sad prostitutes, I would feel responsible to send the whole lot to college so they can become doctors and lawyers. So if I am going to do this pimping thing, I need to get prostitutes that won't make me feel guilty, that will just go about doing their merry little jobs with no tears, like they are just workers at Costco or something. (The same goes for strippers. You put a sad stripper in front of me - you know, the one with the vacant look in the eye, and I want to stuff a savings bond down her g-string.)
I will give this some more thought tonight, as I lie awake at 3am. Any other ideas are welcomed. The edge is near.
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