hello bitches

You know how happy families send out Christmas/New Year updates to their friends to let them know how everyone had a great time at Orlando, Joey is in AP physics, and Madison is playing soccer?  Well, this is mine for the year:

Hello Bitches:  Haha, don't get offended.  That's what all the cool people use now as a term of endearment.  You're my bitch is not like you are beneath me and I own you; it's like you're in my gang - we are homies; we are so tight that we are each other's bitches.  That's cool, right?  Just because we have a few decades under our belt now, it doesn't mean we cannot be cool and hip and say all the things the yutes are saying these days.  You gotta roll with the times, bitch.  Speaking of rolling with the times, where did 2015 go?  Another year.  The family is doing great.  By family, I mean lonesome ol' me, since I've got no wife and no kids and no girlfriend or boyfriend.  Not even a pet.  But I'm doing great.  I only went to the doctor a few times this year, for things like knee pain and some growth on my face that I wanted to make sure wasn't skin cancer.  It wasn't.  Phew.  I am taking time off work for the holidays, to use up leave that I would otherwise lose.  I am home shredding papers which isn't as fun as it sounds, because my shredder basket is kinda small and I keep having to empty it before I could continue.  It's a pain.  I am also home monitoring the leaks in my house as it rains.  Yup, just like last year, I am having leaks that I cannot resolve.  I am going to re-roof early next year to see if that helps.  There goes another $15,000.  But that's ok - I mean what else am I saving money for?  Vacation?  Ha.  I am optimistic for the new year though.  Problems don't always stay problems (I stole that from a movie).  And everytime you want to hit refresh, you can.  Anyways, thank you for being my bitches.  All the best to you! See you next year.  Bye bye, bitches.   

Needless to say, I didn't actually send this holiday letter out to all my friends.  I am too cheap to spend money on five stamps.  

california christmas time

Watching these videos will make you happy this Christmas day:












The joy in James Corden's face when he sings is just plain infectious. And Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is just plain crazy. Oh please tv God, don't let this one get canceled.

mad about max and james and rachel and sufjan

Favorite 2015 Movies I Watched in 2015 (as per usual, there are lots of 2015 movies I likely won't get to watch til 2016 on blu ray):
Mad Max Fury Road (Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, and Nicholas Hoult are all out great in the most badass movie out this year)
Inside Out  (It makes me feel all kinds of emotions)
Kingsman (so good that I can even ignore Samuel L. Jackson in it - I want a sequel now)
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation (so good I think Leah Remini would even like this)
Paddington (the art direction!!!)


Favorite TV show in 2015:
Amazing Race
iZombie
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Limitless
Late Late Show With James Corden


Favorite 2015 Albums:
Jason Isbell - Something More Than Free
Madonna - Rebel Heart
Sufjan Stevens - Carrie & Lowell
Carly Rae Jepsen - Emotion
Brandon Flowers - The Desire Effect

in the way of beauty

I really like the scene in Wild where Reese Witherspoon encounters a boy and his grandmother.  He says to Reese Witherspoon that his grandmother takes him out on hikes because he has a problem that he is not supposed to talk about.  Reese Witherspoon says to him that she has problems too, but the good thing is that problems don't always stay problems.  The message of the movie is, there is a sunrise and a sunset everyday, so everyday you need to put yourself in the way of beauty.  Yes indeed.  Despite my moodiness and neuroses, despite my house leaks and physical ailments, deep down I know this. 

the things i do

Things I did a lot of this year 2015:
-  Watching Madonna Rebel Heart tour videos on youtube.
-  Laughing at James Corden on Late Late Show.
-  Worrying about house leaks.
-  Worrying about knee pain.
-  Checking bank and credit card accounts online for fraud activities.
-  Going to Grocery Outlet, Target, Costco, Trader Joe's, and Sprouts.
-  Opening Amazon packages.
-  Eating Habits burgers.
-  Throwing away win-less lottery tickets.
-  Drinking tea.
-  Checking emails on my phone every half an hour.
-  Calling health insurance company to get status on claims.
-  Calling door people to fix door leaks.
-  Calling Comcast for billing issues.
-  Getting annoyed at my mother and then feeling guilty for getting annoyed.
-  Watching QVC and resisting buying things I don't need.  (How can those old ladies afford all that stuff?)
-  Groaning at every mentioning of Kardashian or Jenner or Real Housewives.
-  Ditto above for Beyonce, Gaga, and Taylor Swift.
-  Waking up with a headache.
-  Checking Next Muni for the N Judah.
-  Talking myself out of buying a boba drink.
-  Transferring money between accounts.
-  Cringing at my boss.
-  Getting annoyed by nonworking escalators at Muni subway stations.
-  Worrying about Chi Young's unemployment.
-  Thinking about a life that didn't happen and feeling sorry for myself.
-  Making macaroni in soup.
-  Buying jackets and sweats from Uniqlo.
-  Wishing Matt Smith was still the Doctor.
-  Wondering why I cannot understand the plots on Doctor Who anymore.
-  Retrieving and returning blu ray discs from Redbox vending machines.
-  Forgetting to insert rather than swipe the new CHIP-enabled credit cards.
-  Eating instant udon at my desk at work.
-  Falling asleep with the tv and lights on.
-  Calculating how much (or how little) I have when I retire.
-  Throwing away expired food.
-  Making broth in my pressure cooker.
-  Killing ants.
-  Checking imdb for new Marisa Tomei projects.
-  Wishing I were Australian, because all Australians look like Hemsworths.
-  Hating on my haircut and wishing it would grow out quicker.
-  Watching news about mass shootings and terrorist attacks.
-  Cursing at Roger Goodell and the NFL and the media for Deflatgate.
-  Man-crushing on Julian Edelman.
-  Eating chicken pho in the Tenderloin.
-  Getting bombarded by Star Wars merchandising.
-  Switching channels whenever that blowhard Donald Trump is on tv spewing nonsense.
-  Feeling swoony with Sufjan Stevens.
-  Watching Adele break sales records.
-  Wondering why people are mostly assholes.