umbrellas of demy

La La Land was inspired by Jacques Demy's musicals from the 60's, including Umbrellas of Cherbourg and Young Girls of Rochefort. Here are some clips from those movies:

oh cold snap shot

Weather:  Really cold but clear (showers expected this weekend)
Mood:  Anxious, jittery, restless
Music:  Essential Leonard Cohen, George Michael/Wham playlist
Last Movie: La La Land (A, magical, wondrous), Rogue One (B-, standard Star Wars)
Last TV:  Jessica Jones on Netflix (B+)
Reading:  Nothing but should change that by next week
Last Pleasure:  Ciao Bella key lime ice cream sandwich
Last Worry: Rain and mother
Last accomplishment: Mopped floor yesterday - not one of my favorite house chores
Looking Forward To:  2016 to be done - put a fork in it
Not Really Looking Forward To:  The next four years; working the lawsuits from work when I get back from leave
Gas Price: $2.559/gallon premium at Costco
Clothes:  Black Old Navy t-shirt, black Gap jacket, blue Gap jeans

Today's Headline:  Clashes, Air Raids Tarnish Russia and Turkey's Syria Truce

Last Website Visited:  costco.com
Last Meal: Satay chicken lo mein takeout from Lychee Cafe
Last Purchase:  Dyson heater fan for my mom
Item On My Wishlist:  Jacques Demy Criterion boxset
Latest Evidence It's A Beautiful World: 

wake me up when 2016 go go

This past week saw the unexpected passings of George Michael, Carrie Fisher, and her mother Debbie Reynolds.  What a cruel year 2016 is/was.  It has already taken from us, among many others, David Bowie, Prince, Leonard Cohen, Alan Rickman, Alan Thicke, Florence Henderson, Garry Shandling, Patty Duke, Muhammad Ali, Elie Wiesel, Garry Marshall, Gene Wilder, and Anton Yelchin.  We still have three more days to go...I cannot express how much I love La La Land.  I went into it with sky-high expectations (on paper, this movie ticks all my boxes), and I pretty much smiled through the entire thing.  Within those two hours, there were so many moments of pure cinematic joy and magic.  It really is a movie for dreamers.  And like my favorite movies, it's also tinted with melancholy and longing.  It seems most of my favorite movies or books have the same theme (the Before movies, Eternal Sunshine, Atonement, Norwegian Wood) - even all the love and hope in the world cannot conquer the realities of life and time.  Yet you always need to choose to love and hope.  Movies like this inspire me to get my creative gears going again.  This is exactly what I want my work to convey...Oh yes, please give Oscars to Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone...The past two weeks away from work have been just me doing little thing here and there around the house - filing, shredding, tossing/recycling.  I am not sure how productive I've really been.  Actually I know I really haven't been productive at all.  I have never been productive, ever.  It seems my entire life is a series of non-starters.  One day I am gonna be different.  I keep saying this to myself, but what really does it take for a person to change?  I don't know.  All I know is what Leonard Cohen tells me - Ring the bells that still can ring/Forget your perfect offering/There is a crack in everything/That's how the light gets in...   

2016 in the rear view mirror: tv

Amazing Race (After all these years, this is the show I still most enjoy watching.  But it looks like its days are numbered.  CBS didn't bring it back this fall, and its spring season is not premiering til April 2017.  Fuck, fuck, fuck...)

Gilmore Girls - A Year In The Life (I cannot say enough about how much I needed this revival in 2016.  It's been a hard year, at home and otherwise.  But revisiting Stars Hollow and the Gilmore Girls have restored warmth and hope back into my battle-worn heart and soul.  I am now ready to take on another year.)  

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (My favorite new discovery this year.  When all's said and done, I really just want my tv shows to make me happy.  And Kimmy, Titus, Lillian, and Jacqueline make me really happy.)

Agent Carter (Hayley Atwell was my latest tv kickass female crush, following the likes of Buffy and
Veronica Mars.  Sadly, it got canceled this year, only after two seasons.  The second season by the way was superb.)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Season two is not as great as the first.  I mean, they let Greg leave and then interfered with Rachel and Paula's friendship.  But still, who can resist the lovable wackiness of the clan from West Covina?  Besides, it's the only show where boba drinks represent!)

Stranger Things (It's a sci-fi drama centered around a group of grade-school friends in the 80's.  It's got Winona Ryder as the mom of one of the kids.  It had me at eleven.)

Late Late Show With James Corden (My favorite chat show these days.  James Corden is my new Rosie.)

Orphan Black (Tatiana, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways - Sarah, Alison, Cosima, Helena, Rachel...)

Endeavour (I dare say this is better than Sherlock.)

Younger (Sutton Foster is as likable a tv presence as Lauren Graham.)

iZombie (Rob Thomas has created another smart and charming female protagonist in Liv Moore.  Now only if they get away from that Max Rager storyline.)

Bonus:  Selfie (I know this John Cho/Karen Gillan comedy only lasted half a season in 2014, but I loved the show then and I love it even more this year when I rewatched it on Hulu.  Why is this not for sale on dvd or something?)

before next year

This is happening.  The Before Trilogy is finally coming out on blu ray, next February, as a Criterion collection.  Whenever people ask me what my favorite movie is, I always say Before Sunrise/Before Sunset or the Lord of the Ring trilogy.  If someone put a gun to my head and make me choose just one (I am not sure why they would do that unless they are gangsters who are really opinionated about cinema...), I would probably have to say Before Sunset.  I really believe these Before movies are responsible for making me a romantic but not in a lovey-dovey way.  Instead they made me believe in true love but also that true love does not have to be permanent.   It can be a spark that you once knew, and then it just becomes a memory for the rest of your life.  But really what are we but a jigsaw puzzle of memories?

netflix and chill

I know the yoots these days mean something different when they say "Netflix and chill."  But the last thing I want is for my tv watching to be interrupted by sloppy, dirty sex.  I've really been Netflixing and chilling for the past couple of weeks, since I joined Netflix for the Gilmore Girls revival and have since been catching up on Netflix series I've been wanting to watch.  I really enjoyed season one of Stranger Things.  But the show that is seriously giving me happiness is Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidlt.  Everyone on that show is comedy gold. I cannot wait for season three which is supposed to be coming in May next year.  Wait...does that mean Netflix got me?  Will I now be paying another $10 a month for my tv entertainment?  I guess I'll be fiscally poor but pop culturally rich.  Damn you, marketing geniuses!!!  You are geniuses because I am aware of what you did there, and I am still biting.

stars hollows

This story about how four Marines bonded over Gilmore Girls makes me all verklempt.  Stars Hollows was a representation of the America that they fought for while they were deployed to Iraq. They reunited to watch the Gilmore Girl revival, and now all is right with the world again.

alexa, fix my life

I was this close to buying an Amazon Echo Dot this past Black Friday weekend, but I ended up resisting.  But if I did buy one, here is what I would ask Alexa to do:

-  Alexa, more Gilmore Girls please.
-  Alexa, redo election.
-  Alexa, eradicate the Kardashians from our collective consciousness.
-  Alexa, remove from my earshot or sightline anything to do with Beyonce and her Lemonade, which is about how she is pissed at her cheating husband and yet she stays with him.  So confused - which is the badass feminist female empowerment part of this tale?
-  Alexa, teach me how to be cool like Ryan Gosling.
-  Alexa, stop the rain.
-  Alexa, leak-proof my house.
-  Alexa, make my mother healthy.
-  Alexa, make people stop bothering me with questions at work and tell them I really know a lot less than they think I do.
-  Alexa, grow my hair out of the bad haircut I got two weeks ago.
-  Alexa, decongest streets and freeways and shopping malls by 50%.
-  Alexa, have GY call me and say sorry.
-  Alexa, stop terrorism.
-  Alexa, make Putin and Kim Jong Un less creepy.
-  Alexa, leave American Indian land alone.
-  Alexa, reduce the price of the Criterion Before Sunrise trilogy to under $50.
-  Alexa, make Amazing Race come back for many, many seasons to come.
-  Alexa, release the Neca Batman Returns Catwoman action figure already.
-  Alexa, give Chi Young a good paying job with benefits.
-  Alexa, make 2017 awesome.
-  Alexa, seriously stop the freaking rain.

a year in the life

Happy Thanksgiving!  This year I am thankful for:
-  Gilmore Girls reunion.  Stars Hollow - this is the America I want to live in.
-  La La Land - ok I haven't seen it yet but I already love everything about it.
-  Family - even though it's been a hard year, I am grateful to have another year around the table with the people whom I live for.
-  Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - season two theme song not as great as original and Greg leaving is just unacceptable, but man, I am so happy to have a season two of Rachel and Paula and Darryl and White Josh and Heather and even Valencia.  Oh, and Josh just happens to be there.
-  Grocery Outlet - I love bargain hunting.  Going to Grocery Outlet on Saturday mornings for grocery run has sort of become my routine.  Yes, my transformation into an old housewife is now complete.
-  James Blake and Bon Iver - Both came out with amazing new albums this year.  In my opinion, James Blake and Bon Iver haven't yet put out one album that's anything less than masterful.  It's music that's modern and soulful and touches me in all the right places. 
-  The return of Green Day - I remember seeing them back in the day in Berkeley, so it's awesome to see after all these years they still have with a fire lit under them.
-  i-Tea and Bambu - for satisfying my boba and dessert drink cravings.
- b Patisserie - I still dream of your banana chocolate croissants and kouign amanns.
- Work-at-work - I honestly don't know how I can ever have to commute five days a week to work again.
-  James Corden - my favorite talk show these days.  His joy is infectious.  Reminds me of Rosie O'Donnell when she had her own talk show.  I guess I like my talk show hosts to sing.
-  The social media star season of Amazing Race - I enjoyed this past Spring's season a lot.  That French Alps (or was it Swiss Alps, it's hard to tell with all that snow) episode was the best in a long while.  Damn CBS for not doing a fall season this year.
-  Coupons - Thanks JCP, Eddie Bauer, eBags, LLBean, and Kohl's for your $10 or $5 off coupons!  Keep them coming please.
-  Stock market not crashing - yet...
-  2016 almost ending - just one more month and we would have made it out alive.  Wounded but still kicking. 

there is a crack in everything

Oh Leonard Cohen - I hear ya.  You are going to do your thing from up there instead of here, on this earth that doesn't deserve your poetry and beauty.  We human beings are worthless.  We cannot have nice things.  We let the darkness in.  We let evil tap into our fear.  That ugly nature of ours will always show up.  Yet, I suppose we must still ring the bells that can ring.  Carry on with the good fight.  RIP where you are.  I am sure it's nicer.



 
The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed
the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
of every government --
signs for all to see.

I can't run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned, they've summoned up
a thundercloud
and they're going to hear from me.

Ring the bells that still can ring ...

You can add up the parts
but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum
Every heart, every heart
to love will come
but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.

election randomness

It's over sooon. Just three more days, and my phone will stop ringing and my mailbox will not be stuffed.  It's a soda tax, it's a grocery tax...guess what, I don't give a damn...I do care that it is getting to the end of the year.  2016 has been hard.  The thing with my mom's apartment and her health.  The house leaks, Chi Young's job prospects, and my left knee pain.  All have been extremely taxing.  As Buffy said, living is hard.  But it's over sooon too.  Not life, but at least 2016.  You gotta have hope that a new year brings new beginnings...The favorite movie I've watched lately is The Nice Guys, with Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe.  It's a funny, witty and charming throwback to those buddy action comedies. And both Gosling and Crowe, along with the girl who plays Ryan Gosling's daughter, are terrific...I am on a shopping spree again.  It's that time of the year.  I just cannot help myself.  The things I buy these days though have shifted away from electronic gadgets to things like a waffle maker and a wok/steamer set.  I also just got the Funko Pop Golden Girls set for Chi Young.  We love watching Golden Girls reruns on the Hallmark channel.  Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia are the OG...Crazy Ex Girlfriend is back for season two.  I didn't love the first episode and the new theme song, but second and third episodes have totally brought me right back.  Rebecca Bunch is really crazy...I just read that Michael Buble's three-year-old son Noah has cancer.  Damn that's tough.  My prayers are with them..We fall back an hour today.  An extra hour - what to do with it?  Write a blog post...I am enjoying new Green Day album.  Outlaw, Revolution Radio, and Ordinary World are particularly great.  I love it when people I am a fan of since the beginning continue to put out good stuff.  I am also liking the new stuff from the Hamilton Leithauser and Rostam collab - they used In A Black Out in an iPhone 7 commercial...The other pleasure of my life is of course food.  Winston and I went to visit Howard in San Jose two weekends ago, and we went to Grand Century Mall and had pho, sugar cane juice, and pandan waffle (thus the waffle maker I just bought - I want to be able to make all different types of waffle, like the HK style street waffle with sugar, peanut butter, and condensed milk).  Then we went to Pop Bar near Howard's place and had a gelato popsicle.  Food days are awesome.  I am also enjoying that new food places are popping up all over now.  They just opened a 85 Degree bakery in Serramonte and will open a Steak 'n Shake in Daly City very soon.  And I also like these individual hot pot places that are popping up in the Richmond and Sunset this last year or two.  Also, I recently made really good chicken thighs and pork chops from recipes I found online from The Pioneer Woman and The Kitchn respectively.  I am building a good repertoire.  The one thing I really wish I could master is Chinese turnip cake.  Cannot find a good recipe where my turnip cake doesn't turn into mush.  Don't know why......The Chicago Cubs have won the World Series, after a 108-year old drought.  They won in extra inning in Game Seven.  I don't really follow baseball, but I appreciate how momentous this is.  Sometimes good things happen, and things are right in the world...I don't know how the presidential election will turn out.  It's actually turned into a nail-biter.  May God be with us on this one, even as we march ourselves straight into hell          

over soon

New Music Saturday.  This week some of my favorites released new songs.  Music makes a tough week a little easier:

city of stars

Here is La La Land trailer featuring City Of Stars by Ryan Gosling:

gotta catch them all

Pokemon Go arrived on July 6 and has since taken over the streets and the world.  Places like The Beach Chalet are overrun all hours of the day because of the many Pokemons to be caught there.  The yoots are out en mass walking around staring down at their phones.  Some girl even found a real dead body while hunting for Pokemon by a river.  And opportunistic robbers are using the game to lure unsuspecting players.  I myself don't know a Squirtle from a Charmander, but I could use a Pokeball right now to save me...July is seriously kicking my butt.  I won't go into it but a week ago I received news that turned my life upside down.  I haven't slept through the night since.  I think I should start believing in God, because I need some divine intervention to make everything alright.  Maybe I'll be able to write about it soon enough, but 2016, you suck..."Who knows if it's the start of something wonderful, or one more dream that I cannot make true?"  That's a line from a new song from Ryan Gosling off the La La Land soundtrack.  It's a swoon-worthy line from a swoon-worthy song.  My life is full of dreams that I cannot make true, but I am still a sucker for the start of something wonderful...Garry Marshall, creater of many beloved sitcoms, passed away.  What would my youth be without the laughter that he gifted us with Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, etc.?  RIP, Garry Marshall...I am actually looking forward to seeing Star Trek Beyond, which is getting great reviews and is said to be the best of the new series.  I loved the first Star Trek reboot but did not like Into Darkness.  It will be sad though, to see Anton Yelchin's last turn as Chekov...Star Trek was a show that wore its optimism about humanity proudly.  Right now, the world feels as if it's being ripped apart by hatred.  The latest incident was a shooting spree in a mall in Munich.  I don't think for the past month or two, we've had one week go by without some mass violent attack.  And then this being an election year, we have to listen to politicians spewing even more hate than usual to promote their self-serving agendas.  Those talking heads don't give a crap about making America or the world great.  All they want is more power to feed their insatiable egos...Thank goodness that the Olympics is coming in a few weeks.  Of course there are politics being played out in the games as well, but sometimes when you strip that all away, the Olympics is a welcomed reminder of what individual human beings are capable of doing when they push their wills and bodies to the limit.  There is an essence to the games that is hopeful.  And we need hope more than ever.  Either that, or an augmented reality where we just catch pocket monsters all day long.

try to remember

Another week, another round of terrorist attacks.  Earlier in the week was a suicide bombing at Istanbul Ataturk Airport in Turkey that killed 36 and injured 147 people.  Then just yesterday terrorists stormed a Bangladesh restaurant and killed 20 hostages.  Both attacks are believed to be responsibility of ISIS.  There was also a video allegedly released by ISIS that names San Francisco and Las Vegas as targets.  What chaotic and scary times we are living in...Elie Wiesel who lived in even scarier times as a Holocaust survivor passed away today.  He was 87.  He wrote the powerful book Night, which is about his time spent in the concentration camp as a young man but is really more about his questions about faith and God.  I think I need to reread soon.  I feel as if my mind has turned numb for many years now.  There was a time when my mind was preoccupied with the big questions that Elie Wiesel asked.  I used to wonder about man's place in the world and what that place means and what we need to do about it.  But now, my mind is too lazy.  My attention span is about 140 characters long.  Everything is abbreviated and simplified.  All I know to say and think is, love is greater than hate. And then I get dragged into office gossips and stay awake at night over my house leaks.  I don't do anything of real consequence.  I don't even have thoughts of real meaning.  I would say I've regressed.  In my youth, I at least aspired for higher learning.  I need to be a better man, like Elie Wiesel...I was listening to this song on my Broadway playlist called Try To Remember.  I actually never quite paid attention to it til today.  It's from the musical The Fantastiks.  The song affected me a lot today.  I think I will try to remember and follow, follow, follow.  The lyrics go like this:

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh
so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember and if you remember
then follow
follow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
When no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
When dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
When love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember and if you remember
then follow
follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember
Without a hurt the heart will hollow.
Deep in December
it's nice to remember
The fire of September that made you mellow.
Deep in December our hearts should remember and follow
follow. 

brexit to eden

Oy.  What the hell, Brits???  I always had a soft spot for you lot, but then you go all Red State on me and voted to leave the EU.  Sigh.  Are you really the same country that gave us The Beatles and Shakespeare and Doctor Who?  I am really beginning to feel like the villains are winning (with LeBron beating the Warriors, with evil boss getting another promotion at work, and so on). Is it inevitable what will happen in November here in the States?  Should we cue up The Imperial March?...Anton Yelchin.  He died at the age of 27 from a freak accident where his SUV rolled back on his sloped driveway and pinned him to his security gate.  What a tragic way to go for a young talent.  I will always relate to the scene in Star Trek where the Enterprise's voice recognition system couldn't comprehend him with his Russian accent.  Feels like me and my car everytime I try to ask it to do something.  Godspeed.  May you shine in the stars as much as you did here on Earth...Captain America Civil War is great.  I really like the introduction of Black Panther and Spider-Man.  I am super-hyped for the new Spider-Man movie with Tom Holland and Marisa Tomei...Amazing Race is not coming back in the fall.  Instead it's now a midseason replacement.  Sadness...I did enjoy the last season with social media stars.  When it came down to the final four, I was rooting so bad for underdog mother and son Sheri and Cole to take it all the way.  At last, they came in at number two and just fell short of an epic upset.  But at least they ran the entire race.  Sheri really raised Cole right.  Throughout the entire race, they displayed exemplary teamwork.  Cole never once blamed his mother for anything, and Sheri was always encouraging but never overbearing.  Both took all their trials and tribulations in stride.  I want to be like that when I eventually grow up...I am now watching season 4 of Parenthood on dvd, and ugh, I am so upset at Lauren Graham's Sarah and how she is handling her relationship with Mark.  She just did not treat him right.  Lorelai Gilmore would never do that!!!...I am so sick of Kanye, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Gaga and anything Kardashian.  But they keep popping up on my news feed and magazine covers.  One time, I got my Entertainment Weekly in the mail and saw that Gaga was on the cover, and I literally let out an audible "Ugh."  I immediately ripped the cover off and threw it in the recycle bin.  I did the same this week with the Kim Kardashian GQ cover.  Can we please, please make it stop?...I am really looking forward to the summer Olympics in Rio.  I am a big fan of the Olympics.  I am a sucker for those inspirational stories behind those superhuman feats.  When it comes down to it, I just admire people doing hard work!...

misogyny once again

I am so pissed at the dickhead John Carney.  I was previously a fan - admired Once, loved Begin Again.  But then he goes and gives an interview where he degrades Keira Knightley by calling her a supermodel who cannot act while he praises his male cast like Mark Ruffalo and Adam Levine.  (Adam freaking douchebag extraordinaire Levine!!!)  What the hell is he on?  Did he watch his own movie?  Keira Knightley was the best thing about Begin Again!  And she is so wonderful in so many movies in her twice Oscar-nominated, twice BAFTA-nominated career.  Pride And Prejudice, Imitation Game, Atonement, Never Let Me Go, Love Actually, Anna Karenina, A Dangerous Method, Bend It Like Beckham, and so on...  In fact, she should have been nominated for Begin Again - that's how good she was in it.  To publicly trash her acting and reduce her to a supermodel is just plain misogynistic.  (Not that there's anything about being a supermodel, obviously, but that's just not what she is.)

What makes this worse is, I really was looking forward to watching John Carney's new movie Sing Street.  It looks completely charming, and it's the type of movie I would love.  Argh.

don't be a hater

Whoa.  All the internet hate hurled at Madonna for doing an earnest tribute to her friend Prince is just 2 crazy 2 comprehend.  She had nothing to gain for doing this.  It was a fine job - nothing controversial at all about it, yet somehow people are in an uproar.  How is she not worthy?  She is every bit his peer.  In fact, in every measurable way, she actually outdoes him.  So does it come down to racism, or ageism, or sexism?  I mean, it has to be a combination of all those things.  It's completely ridiculous for Prince supporters to call Madonna an old hag when they are the same age, born within a couple of months from each other in that fateful year of 1958.  Prince himself would be very upset at all the venom.

The world, especially the world as filtered through social media, is way too negative.  Behind their keyboards people forget how to behave as human beings.  It is honestly the worst byproduct of the internet age that we live in.  Sure, I am hardly one to talk.  I am a rather cynical individual.  I have many things I dislike and I comment on them incessantly here, but I would never, say, go to a Lady Gaga website and throw insults at her or her fans.  I just don't fundamentally understand that need.  I remember a while back when I posted a Madonna concert clip on my youtube account, I had Lady Gaga's Little Monsters post very negative comments on my posting.  Why?  Why would you take the time to find and then click on my video?  It's just something I was sharing for people with like minds. 

We need to use our voices to reverse that effect.  Spread love and good energy instead.  Fight instead against evil and injustice.  Don't put effort into petty little things.  I don't know how the world can become a better place when we cannot get over these trivial matters.  This all saddens me.  But it also serves as a reminder because I don't want to become what I am witnessing.  Don't be a hater.  Be a lover.

everyone wants some good movies

2016 movies I want to watch (some already came out but I haven't gotten to them):

Captain America Civil War - I am just an okay fan of the Avengers movies (but at least these are not the new sucky brand of DC superhero movies).  But the Captain America ones are the best of the bunch.
X-Men Apocalypse - Loved First Class and Days Of Future Past.  Buzz on third one is not so great, unfortunately.  But I am still in.
Finding Dory - Pixar pics are mostly a no-lose proposition (except for the Cars and Monster Inc ones)
Star Trek Beyond - Loved the first and didn't like the second.  But I really like the cast - everyone is so perfectly cast in their Star Trek characters, so count me in.
Jason Bourne - Yes to return of Matt Damon!
La La Land - How can you lose with Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in a musical set in Hollywood???
The Lobster - Buzz is amazing on this Colin Farrell romance indie set in a world where everyone has only 45 days to fall in love or be turned into an animal of his/her choosing.  Is this the next Eternal Sunshine?
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ang Lee is an automatic in for me.
Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them - JK Rowling post-Harry Potter.  This looks magical.
(Deadpool) - Love me some subversive Ryan Reynolds superhero.
(Everybody Wants Some) - Richard Linklater is an automatic in for me.
(Sing Street) - Another music-filled feel-good movie from John Carney (Once, Begin Again).  Who doesn't need this in their lives?

thank you for being a friend

Last week, I almost died.  I was watching Golden Girls.  I was taking a gulp of my water when Bea Arthru did one of her deadpan looks.  I literally choked on the water and was heaving for breath for a good minute.  It actually was really scary.  I honestly felt like I have never been closer to death.

Can you imagine what my obit would say if I did die from watching Golden Girls?  Other people die either from diseases, or something really dramatic or heroic.  I die from watching a rerun of a sitcom about a bunch of old ladies living in a house in Florida. Oy-vey.

the colour in everything

Weather:  Gloriously sunny and mild
Mood:  Stressed but trying to fight it
Music:  James Blake - The Colour In Anything (A) and Radiohead - A Moon-Shaped Pool (B+)
Last Movie: In Bruges (rewatch) - Man, I love this movie so much.
Reading:  nothing
Last Pleasure:  Watching Golden Girls rerun on Hallmark channel
Last Worry: Trump (aside from my trifecta of worries these days - house, mom, Chi Young)
Last accomplishment: Making really yummy herb-crusted lamb chops for Mother's Day
Looking Forward To:  Captain America Civil War and La La Land
Not Really Looking Forward To:  Calling more contractors (that profession has become my least favorite of all professions - even worse than lawyers and journalists and auto mechanics)
Gas Price: $2.749/gallon premium at Costco
Clothes:  Orange/blue checkered shirt from Land's End, navy blue fleece pants from Uniqlo

Today's Headline:  Trump Blasts New York Times Over Lame Hit Piece They Did On Me and Women

Last Website Visited:  curbed.com
Last Meal: Chicken cabbage quinoa salad
Last Purchase:  Notting Hill blu ray
Item On My Wishlist:  Fantastic Cities coloring book
Latest Evidence It's A Beautiful World: Daniel Buren's color treatment of Frank Gehry's Fondation Louis Vuitton

i saw your ghost

Dear Y:  I hope this letter finds you well.  It's been two years since we've parted.  It was great while it lasted, but then again, it wasn't great enough to last.  All the things that people do to each other - make each other happy, infuriate one another, build up the other person's dream, break each other's heart - I guess we did it all.  I do think about you sometimes.  I am not sure though whether I think about the idea of you, what I've built you up to be in my head, or actually about you the person I was with.  Regardless, whenever I do think of you, whichever version that is, I inevitably wish I were not some messed up person who cannot make things work.  I wish I were that person whom you wanted to stick around for, that person worthy of your trying.  I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I would ever grow up to be that type of man.  Like someone who makes someone else want to put everything on the line and say, "I am in.  I am all in."  But I know I am not yet that man.  I have too much crap.  I am not nice enough.  I am petty and selfish.  I don't love hard enough.  I hold things too close to the chest.  I am often times inauthentic.  I worry too much about what other people want from me and what they want me to be.  I think you wanted an authentic person to be your life partner.  You thought I tried too hard to say the right thing and do the right thing, but I end up saying and doing all the wrong things because those things I say and do are not real.  There was one fight that we had where you said, "Why do you do that?  Can't you just not be so appeasing?  It's like, the more you try to be likable, the less likable you are."  That comment cut me to the core.  I hated you when you said it.  Not that it wasn't the truth.  But I hated that you thought that of me.  You were supposed to love me and see the best in me.  Being critical of me was my job, not yours.  Maybe that's why it didn't work - because we both saw that me that I didn't like.  Now granted, you had issues too.  I am just saying.  But this is actually not the reason I am writing today.  I am not writing to rehash what went wrong.  I am writing simply because I heard a song today.  My library was playing on shuffle, and it came on.  It was Jose Gonzalez's cover of Hand On Your Heart.  Do you remember what that song meant to us?  Or have I attached too much meaning to it over the years?  It just made me very wistful, like seeing a thousand sunsets, or watching a time lapse of our would-be growing children, or smelling the perfume my mother used to wear when she was young.  So I am writing you this letter to let you know - someone from your past thought of you today.  I don't want anything from you.  I don't need to know about your new life, whom you are loving now, what you last dreamed about last night.  But I think sometimes it's nice to know that even when people aren't together anymore, their ghosts sometimes come floating in and out of each others' lives, just as a reminder.  Today I saw your ghost.  That's all.  Take care, M     

still around

I've been feeling like crap lately.  It's the house, my mom, Chi Young, etc.  Problems I cannot seem to do anything about.  I feel so helpless.  All day long, my stomach is just in knots.  I can feel the acid churning down there.  I haven't slept straight for more than four hours.  I honestly believe if I keep going like this, I will have a mental breakdown.

So I think it's time for me to try harder to focus on the positivity.  Of course I know that my life is not the worst and that I have lots to be grateful for.  I just need to remind myself:

- I get to work at home a few days a week.
- I get to see the sunset from my living room window.
- I will likely never be homeless.
- My mother is still around.
- Madonna is still around and making music and touring and fighting the good fight.
- Amazing Race is still around, and this season is killing it.
- I still watch Amazing Race with Chi Young.
- Chi Young is at least working.
- Tax refunds!
- New Costco Visa card coming.
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and iZombie renewed for another season.
- Gilmore Girls reunion coming to Netflix by end of year.
- Team Captain America.
- Tom Holland and Marisa Tomei in Spider-Man Homecoming.  (Since I am focusing on positivity, I am trying hard to ignore that that annoying and self-righteous Zendaya somehow got herself a role in this.)
- Edelman and Amendola bromance.
- Iced milk from i-Tea on Irving or Purple Kow on Balboa.
- Cheap breakfast or afternoon tea at Lychee Cafe on Irving.
- Texas toast and texas corn salad from Armadillo Willy's.
- This photo of Prince George with Obama.

his purple reign

The world of music has lost one of its royalty.  Prince has died.  He is 57.  Cause of death is unknown at the moment.

Prince is a musical genius.  My favorite Prince songs are endless - When Doves Cry, 1999, Little Red Corvette, Delirious, When You Were Mine, Let's Go Crazy, Kiss, Nothing Compares 2 U, but like most music icons, it's as much about cultural impact as it is about the music.  Prince was as iconic and unique as they come.  He was his own star and supernova.  Everything about Prince - his sound, his image, his fashion - is forever burnt into our history.   
 
It's crazy to think that the music icons of the eighties are now dying off.  It's too early, right?  Michael Jackson, Prince, and Madonna were all born in 1958.  What a year that was.  I am so dreadful of the day when I would get some news about Madonna.  But then again, that woman is so tough that she would likely outlast us all.

Today though is about the artist formerly known as Prince Rogers Nelson.  Thank u for the gift that u have given us.  Goodnight and Godspeed, sweet Prince.  This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

leaky leak

I finally got my reroofing done a couple of weeks ago.  I paid a lot, a lot of money for it, in hopes that this will take care of all my leaks.  Guess what?  I think you know.  It rained yesterday night and today.  Not even heavy rain.  And the house is still leaking in pretty much all the same places.  This morning when I discovered all the wet spots again, I almost wanted to throw up.  My stomach is in knots.  I was hopeful.  Yesterday night, I even prayed to the house gods that my leaking problem would finally be over.  But the house gods, like the lotto gods or the football gods or the love gods, paid me no attention.  I don't even know anymore.  I am so close to just saying fuck it all.  Let it rain, let it leak, let it rot.  You think I am scared?  Well fuck you!  When it all comes crashing down, I am just going to move into a trailer home and eat corn nuts all day long.

the search for karma and a good can opener

I haven't done a randomness post in a long while.  I was talking to someone about karma and my disbelief of it.  I used to say I believe in it, but now I say I don't.  I see too many bad things happen to good people, and too many good things happen to bad people.  In fact, I think our society is built for bad people to win.  Ruthless people, people who are willing to win at all cost - they are the victors.  You gotta cut people's throat, throw people under the bus, stab people in the back.  It's a Machiavellian world, and we just barely live in it.  Simple people have their place, but it's a place where you have to be satisfied with internal rewards like a good conscience for what that's worth.  Believing in karma is like believing in God.  If you choose to believe in it, just don't expect any evidence to back it up...Amazing Race's recent episode, set in the French Alps, was just awesome.  It's the best leg in a long while.  The locale and the tasks were spectacular.  It's the reason people go on the Amazing Race, and it's the reason people like me have been fans for twenty-plus seasons.  And it's just been renewed again.  I am so thankful....I am also thankful for Madonna.  I know I go on and on, but I really have been impressed recently by this woman.  She is so defiant.  The more critics attack, the more unapologetic she is.  She could very easily play nice like many celebrities with their PR machines.  But she never backs down.  Where does one get balls like that???...You know what is hard to find aside from someone with balls of steel?  A good can opener...I am trying to figure out how I can afford to move.  Houses around here are now averaging over $1M.  I either have to snag a rich old lady, win lotto, work harder, or concoct some get-rich-quick scheme.  Unfortunately I am not charming enough, lucky enough, disciplined enough, or clever enough.  Damn you, mother (or God)!...Honestly though, I look at other people's homes on sites like Apartment Therapy or Curbed, and I am like, some people really live nice.  I imagine it would be nice to come home to a sanctuary as opposed to come home to a leaky money pit.  It's really my dream someday to create a nice home for myself.  I do notice though white people tend to have better taste about stuff like that.  White people houses are always nicer.  Maybe I need to marry a white lady.  A tasteful, rich white lady...I still haven't finished this year's taxes yet.  I mean, I did and then I didn't.  It's a complicated story that I cannot tell here.  You are not supposed to reveal too much of that kind of stuff on the internet cuz there are bad people out there...What to make of another ISIS attack?  This week, thirty plus people died when bombs went off in Brussels at the airport and on a subway train. Most of us hopefully will never understand that level of hate and evil.  And it is evil, even if the terrorists think it's something else.  If you plot to just kill random, innocent people, it is pure evil, no matter what motivation you have, no matter what you think your God told you to do...I just saw Brooklyn on blu ray yesterday.  It was a blind buy.  It's written by Nick Hornby and it's built as an immigrant love story - I was pretty much sold right from the start.  It's really a beautiful movie.  All the actors are great in it, especially Emory Cohen as Saoirse Ronan's suitor.  Being an immigrant myself, I remember the feelings of being displaced.  A stranger in a strange land, as they say.  I actually still feel that way.  I don't feel like I belong anywhere, not in America and not in Asia.  I know a lot of immigrants feel this way.  You can make a home and a life in a new country, but you still feel like you are on someone else's land.  And then when you go back to your mother land, it feels so changed, or you feel so changed, that you don't fit there anymore.  But then sometimes you cannot reflect on things like that too much.  You cannot constantly be thinking about what life is or could be or should have been.  You just have to live it and do what you do and get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other.  It's like a Lego block - you just start with one piece at a time til slowly you have something, and if you don't, you just adjust and adapt...I don't know what karma is anymore, but I know you just need to be a solid, good human being who try to do the right things.  I don't know what you will get at the end of that, but it's not for me or you to decide.  It might be karma.  It might be God.  It might be randomness.  Regardless, that part is out of our hands.

love will keep us together

I love this song from American Life so much. It was written for Rocco when he was born, and man, is it appropriate now?!

she doesn't want an easy ride

Tomorrow is the last show of Madonna's Rebel Heart tour.  It's been a crazy ride.  The era started with a damaging demo leak, followed by a phased official release that turned out to be a major commercial disappointment, a fall at the Brits felt around the world, and a tour that fans have followed around the world through Periscope and YouTube videos, obsessively wondering each show how late she would start, which songs she would she add or cut, and who would the unapologetic bitch of the evening.  Somewhere in there, we also got the Rocco custody drama, the curious Tears Of A Clown show in Melbourne where she performed deep album cuts like Easy Ride and Intervention in a clown costume for 1,500 fans, and the press sharpening its ageist and misogynist knives and reporting that she was a drunk in the midst of a major meltdown.  Through it all, she delivered what many fans considered to be the most enjoyable shows of her entire concert career.  It's an onstage Madonna that is, for the very first time, personable and chatty and funny and vulnerable.  For all f-f-fuck-yeahs and f-f-fuck-nos, and for all the bitch-this and bitch-that, and for all the nuns and stripper poles, more than ever you can see this is just a showgirl who works really hard to put on a good show. I am so proud of her, for how tough she has had to fight this last year, and really just want to give her a hug. I am sad that this era has come to an end.  I cannot wait to see what the next era will bring.     

zayn-y for zayn

Goodness what is happening to me?  First, I love Bieber's What Do You Mean and Love Yourself.  Now, I am totally obsessed with former 1Der Zayn Malik's Pillowtalk and especially It's You.

It's You is like a more radio-friendly Radiohead, no?

go leo

This year's Oscars are pretty easy to predict, so here goes my predictions for the top six categories:

Best Picture:  Spotlight (my choice - Mad Max Fury Road)
Director:  Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for The Revenant (my choice - George Miller for Mad Max)
Actor:  Leonardo DiCaprio for The Revenant (Go Leo!!!)
Actress:  Brie Larson for Room (my choice - between Brie and Saoirse Ronan for Brooklyn)
Supporting Actor:  Sylvester Stallone for Creed (my choice - Tom Hardy for The Revenant)
Supporting Actress:  Alicia Vikander for The Danish Girl (my choice - Kate Winslet for Steve Jobs)

I really would love to see Kate and Leo both winning tonight.  My heart will go on for those two.

anti-manifesto

Apparently the Una-bomber has written another manifesto about the internet and technology.  I am too lazy to read it, although I am sure it's very well-written and well-thought-out and that there are a lot of things in there that would appeal to the anarchist in me who just want to be contrarian for the sake of being one (once you agree with the masses, you need to check yourself).  But you see, I won't ever subscribe to it or be rallied by it because I am a man of little ambition of effecting the world and also a man of ample cynicism and doubt that the world can ever be changed.  Mankind is what it is - selfish, greedy, power-mad, narcissistic.  We repeat history over and over.  Sure, our weapons get fancier, technology gets more advanced, but we take the same course towards self-destruction every time.  All those people like Ted Kaczinsky (or for that matter people like Ghandi), in their own grandiose way, think they can do something to disrupt that march towards madness, with their thousand page manifesto, preaching how the world should be in their fantasy la-la land.  Well guys and gals, it ain't happening no matter what you do.  So why don't you just join me on my apathetic couch and watch some Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and have a laugh or two instead?  Trust me, the end result is the same, but mine is a less painful path there.

Wait - you think I am hopeless and an example of the worst of human nature - that one should always fight the good fight to make the world a better place, regardless of the chance of winning, that if it were up to people like me, the world would never progress and that we would still be in the dark ages.  I offer you this, if everyone was like me, you wouldn't have any fighting to begin with.  People like me would never hurt anybody in the name of ideology and what's right or wrong, because we never feel strongly enough to fuss over such grand themes.  We know we don't know, and we are cool with that.  Black people - cool.  Homosexuality - sure, why not?  You want the Gaza Strip - go for it; there's plenty of land to go around.  I think it's when people think they've figure it out, that they know what's going to make the world "good" and "right," that's when we get in trouble.  Even ISIS thinks it's doing what's just and right by their God.  If nobody bothers with any of that and just want to watch some tv and eat some chips, then where's the conflict?

So I ask, can we please care a little less?  The evils of technology and internet.  The greed of the Western capitalistic pigs.  The oh-so-white Oscars.  Those pesky Mexicans crossing the U.S. border as if to borrow a cup of sugar.  The barbarism of all Muslims.  Global warming and melting ice caps.  You know what I have to say to all that?

West Covinnnnnaaa!!!


What?  You don't like this? You say you don't like musical comedies???  Now, that's crazy talk.  You are definitively, 100% wrong.  Musical comedies make the world a better place.  Let me convince you...

good luck

Good luck -

Patriots - go beat the Broncos and then the Panthers/Cardinals. 
Leonardo DiCaprio - go get your first Oscar.  Just try to avoid Lady Gaga there.
Madonna - Rocco will come back your way eventually. 
Steven Moffat - thanks for the Matt Smith years and some of the best Doctor Who episodes ever.
X-Files - hope your ratings are out of the world so these won't be the last six episodes we'll get.
East Coast - go dig your way out of snow-ageddon. 

Dang it - the Pats just lost to the Broncos 20-18.  Why Denver?  I freaking hate Peyton Manning.  Go Panthers!!!

alan rickman, actually

Godspeed, Alan Rickman.

stardust

I've always felt a kinship with Bowie because we share the same birthday.  Sure, I haven't kept up with his later works but I've never wavered in my admiration. 

It wasn't just the music, but it was the whole artistic vision.  Even his death was poetic.  In his final days, he quietly labored on his last album Black Star and then released it into the universe only two days before leaving us for good, as if to say, "Here you go.  This is all I have to say.  Everything you need to know is right here."

Of the music, there is so much there.  Of course, for me, everything starts from the eighties, going either backward or forward.  So I choose Let's Dance, China Girl, and Modern Love today to remember Bowie by: